The Yoko Factor - 10/29/2006

Not trying to bring anyone down or anything, but my blog lately has been a little deeply mired in sadness and/or seriousness. Huzzah! This one is no different. Just having the stress of last week has given me deep thoughts, and not the "Jack Handy" type either.

Ever wonder who will take care of you when you are older? Are you forging deep familial bonds that will take you through to your 80's and on? Man, I hope I am. I hope that one day, someone will have the respect and strength to take care of me. It'll be difficult; I'll be a mean old lady, I'm sure. I'll be grey and have a fat bottom and REALLY bad knees. I just hope someone will have had that something instilled in them, whether my kids by me & David or someone else by their family, that something that will help them take care of me if David can't.

I think about my mom a lot, and who will take care of her. I think it would be me. She's in Puerto Rico, with no pension or 401k, no savings, just her social security. She's married to a man who I'd rather not discuss. OK, I lie. He's quite the machista who would not let my mom work to make her own money, but then does not give her money to spend, unless it is for groceries or house supplies. If the sisters & I send money, she hides it. She just started getting social security and he NOW tells her she can have it direct deposited into his account. They've been together over 10 years (?) and she has never had access to his account. NOW that she's getting a monthly check, by all means, have it direct deposited into his account. Whatever. Mom told him to go fly a kite. LOL If anything happens to him...strike that. WHEN something happens to him, who will take care of her? She's not even sure she is a beneficiary on any of his life insurance policies or pensions. He has kids from a previous marriage, etc. Who knows what will happen to mom.

We kids....we owe our parents, not the other way around. I see grown ADULTS treat their parents as if the parents owed them something. Wahhh! It's pathetic and embarrassing. Those that are not embarrassed by their behavior, those who are clueless, are even worse. My mom raised us basically on her own. She did the best she could under the circumstances to raise three beautiful (lol) head-strong women. Brenda, Kaaren & Vicky. Mom did her best, but we're so different. Different personalities act ...you guessed it...differently. Our parents did what they could with what they had. The fact that you were difficult is not their fault. We're all dysfunctional, yada yada, and I don't make light of people who were abused by their parents. I'm talking about the caring, loving parents who did the best they could with what they had. They don't OWE you anything now that you are grown. Take care of your own messes, your parents don't owe you anything. Be an adult, for Pete's sake!

Life sometimes gets in the way. If your parents help you out during a time of need, more power to you. Pay them back. Mom does not OWE me anything. She does not need to help me pay a bill or work so she can take care of me, a grown woman. It's the other way around. I owe HER. Payback is due on my part, and when the time comes, I will be there. I want to be.

(The Yoko Factor, Buffy Season 4, Episode 20)

Safe - 10/28/2006

My grandparents should have just arrived in Puerto Rico. I booked them a flight for Saturday morning, 8:30 a.m. This meant getting up at 4:30 a.m. They were already up & dressed. I went down in my pj's & started coffee for all of us. I also packed them lunch, consisting of a sandwich each, two fruit cups, some Chex Mix, sugar-free cookies for grandma and regular cookies for grandpa, some spoons and napkins. Grandpa helped grandma down the stairs. I gave them some coffee, and a bowl of cereal each, with some cut-up bananas in it. Jake made himself some oatmeal. Jake came with me to the airport to help. Grandma secretly hands Jake what I think is $20.00 I hear him say "No grandma, it's too much." She shushes him and shoos him away. I later find out it was not $20, it was $40! Then Grandpa slips him a $10. Anyone needing a loan, please see Jake.

I brought the luggage down and loaded the car. David came out to say goodbye to us in the garage. David, who worked late, was staying home with Isabel. We left early, so I drove without any rush or stress. We got to the passenger unloading zone. I searched (and searched) and found a wheelchair. We placed grandma in it. I asked Jake to stand in line at the outside check-in, with grandpa, while I went to the short-term parking lot. I parked and got back to them by the time they called them up.

Tickets in hand, I was about to go in when the Skycap guy yells to me in Spanish to make sure I get a wheelchair pass inside. No clue what that was, but now we had to wait at the INSIDE line. It actually went by fast. I'm thinking they are going to give me...a pass to allow her to be in the wheelchair? No clue. The Delta agent asks me for ID. I hand them my grandparents' id's. She said no, she needed mine. I was confused. She said the pass was for me to be able to go with them all the way to the plane. How cool was that? With all the regulations and restrictions, I thought for sure I would have to drop them off at security and then just watch as my grandpa struggled with a wheelchair, and a large duffel bag. We went through a special security gate for wheelchairs. They scanned the lunch I prepared and had to take out the fruit cups. The fruit cups. They had liquid in them. *sigh* They also took away the toothpaste tube because it was too large. I told grandpa to put all the liquids in the checked in luggage, but forgot to mention the toothpaste.

The 4 of us get in, Jake carrying the duffel bag and I pushing the wheelchair. Quick stop at Starbucks for me and Nathans for Jake (french fries at 7:10 a.m.). We waited right at the gate with them for about an hour. I went to get the grandparents some coffee. They are very picky coffee drinkers. They don't like American. I bought a grande cappuccino (coffee & steamed milk), and a side shot of espresso. I poured the espresso into the cappuccino, added artificial sweetener, and divided it into two cups. "Great Coffee, Kaaren" was their reply.

When they called the flight, we went straight to the front of the line and they immediately started taking grandma down. I had to jump to grab a goodbye kiss from both before they were taken to their seats.

I think about families that have elderly people living with them. I know a couple who have taken care of or still do take care of an elderly relative. Then I read of people with young kids like me, also taking care of their elderly parents or grandparents. My hats off to you. Kudos. Really. From the bottom of my heart, know that I have the deepest respect and admiration for what you do, each & every day.

Tough Love - 10/26/2006

Grandma got out of the hospital this afternoon. My second (or it it third? Second once removed?) cousin Marisol happened to be there. She is my grandma's niece (the size 2). Marisol stayed with them while they checked out and then drove them to my house. My cell phone was grand central station. When are they leaving the hospital? I don't know, I'm at work. When are they flying home? I don't KNOW, I'm at WORK. My boss let me go home early. He was probably as tired of my phone ringing as I was.

I got home and Marisol was feeding them chicken noodle soup, God bless her. I cleaned the kitchen, as it was a wreck. The floor was covered in cookie crumbs. Isabel and my grandparents have about the same coordination, and all 3 were eating cookies, hence the crumbs. I started cooking dinner for Jake & I. Not the same food for my grandparents because they can't eat the same things. I got my grandma changed and into her pj's. I made coffee. I changed Isabel's diaper. I made rice for my grandpa and soup for Isabel. I did more dishes. I swept the floor again. Grandpa asked if I had gone on the internet yet to look at flights. David called & asked me to tape Smallville, oh and had I gone grocery shopping yet.

I went upstairs to put some of Isabel's toys away. In her room, her bed sheets had tons of chocolate spots on it...like she went to bed with a cookie. I changed her sheets. I noticed not one but two days worth of clothes on her dresser. The hamper is 5 feet away, the closet, one. The tags from her new outfit she wore yesterday were still sitting on the dresser. The garbage can, one foot away.

I put my hands to my face and started bawling.

I asked Jake to please start Isabel's bath. He must have heard something in my voice, because not one word, or one huff did I hear. He jumped up and started her bath. Now, I'm off to run downstairs and see if Isabel is done so that I can plunk her in the bath. And tape Smallville. And then put her to bed. And then look at flights on the internet. I might even get a bath. If I can stop crying.

Eternity - 10/25/2006

Grandma wants to go HOME already. Poor thing. Nothing new to report. The doctors are really not telling them WHEN they can leave. Annoying. Here are some pictures:

Grandpa and his two great-grandsons.






Someone got a hold of the painter's tape.


We dressed our girl as a fairy and visited grandma right before bedtime - around 8 p.m. Grandma really enjoyed it.



Tonight, Wednesday, we had a mini-family reunion in the room. 9 people, counting me & grandpa too. David stayed at home w/the kids. It was fun but I forgot the camera. :( OH, and she told my second cousin that she was fat. My cousin's a size 2. LOL!! EVERYONE'S fat.


(Eternity, Angel Season 1, Episode 17)

Life Serial - 10/24/2006

Learned a few things these past few days.

• 
  My grandma only went to school though 4th grade. She said her dad took her out once she learned to write. They didn't want her writing love notes to boys. Abuelo only through 3rd. He's so intelligent. He's self-learned. Abuelo was born in 1923. His mom was 37 when she died - my age. He was 14 and thought she was ancient then.
• 
  My sister Brenda is a rock. She may be a hot head, and quite possibly nuts, but she is a rock. When the chips are down, she is there. She told me she was glad that this happened at my house, because I am so patient and strong. *blows raspberry* Whatever. I was just so grateful she was here. I was so proud of her when, in a blink of an eye, she made a split-second decision to rise above some personal things with other people, for the sake of my grandma. So proud of her.
• 
  The second floor of Fish Memorial is worked on the weekends by only good-looking people. It's true. Ask Brenda.
• 
  Grandma has a funny sense of humor. She grabs grandpa's butt. She hates hospital food, and dang it!! put some salt on this food!
• 
  My grandparents saw a tv show while in Miami about snakes and people who eat snakes. No clue what the show was, but they now insist that Florida is inundated, is teeming, with snakes and we all eat them on a daily basis.
• 
  The same story, after being told a 5th time...not so funny anymore.
• 
  A toddler and an 83 year old together are the Cutest. Thing. Ever. Mrs. Squeaklefritz is enjoying the heck out of abuelo.
• 
  Conspiracy theories are not just for the young.
• 
  Going back to work after one & a half working days off is like...taking a week off. Geezumpete! The piles. The mess. They can't do without me. LOL
• 
  Cafeteria food stinks. Vending machine coffee is putrid. I drove to a local coffee shop to get my abuelo & me some coffee. Alas, abuelo says no one knows how to make coffee in America.
• 
  When YOU are sick in the hospital, how will YOU feel when your son/sister/granddaughter/niece/cousin tells you they are too sick, too tired, it's too far for them to visit you? Will you remember the time YOU were not there for your mom/sister/grandma/aunt/cousin? Remember. Karma's gonna bite you in the arse.
  

(Life Serial, Buffy Season 6, Episode 5)

Helpless pt 2- 10/23/2006

Too tired. Must sleep. Tried to post an update and the flippin computer froze. Too tired to redo. And also tomorrow, Work, gah!

Grandma is fine. One quart of liquid drained from left lung. *EEEssshhhhh* Hospitals seem to suck the energy right out of me.

Helpless - 10/22/2006

Just a VERY quick note. I have not updated because we had an emergency. My grandmother visiting from Puerto Rico was hospitalized Saturday early a.m. (3 a.m.) after our having to call 911 from my house. We're all STILL exhausted and she's still in the hospital.

UPDATE:

It's 11:23 p.m. as I start typing on Sunday night.

My sister Brenda and her son Jonathan were driving up Friday to bring my grandparents for a visit. My grandparents are visiting from Puerto Rico & have been in Florida for a little over a week. They were supposed to come up Thursday night, I was going to take all Friday off work to spend the day with them, hanging out. Then, on Saturday, I was to drive them to Tampa for a birthday party, where my dad would be. He would then take them to his house for a few days.

Plans got changed a bit due to their not being back from visiting my aunt in Miami until Thursday. I went to work on Friday and left at noon. I drove home and they arrived shortly thereafter. The grandparents were tired!! The had just driven from Miami to West Palm the day before, and now drove 3 hours up to my house. That may not seem like a lot to you, but for two 83-year-old people, it's exhausting.

My grandma is this little short lady who can't hear well. She walks really slow and is always laughing. She hugs me and says "My Negrita! (dark girl), you look good. You're fat." *sigh* Yep. I'm fat. Later, my sister Brenda, who had not heard my grandma's comment, came up to me and told me I looked good. I pouted and said that Grandma said I was fat. Brenda starts cracking up and said, "Listen to what she told me. She said 'Brenda! You're so fat!! No wonder your husband bought that new trailer out front. So he can haul your big butt in it'." Brenda proceeds to crack up and told me not to feel bad. Everyone's fat.

I cooked dinner for all of us (my sister Brenda & nephew were spending the night as well) and we all relaxed and hung out. Grandpa asked Brenda to send his daughter (our aunt) a "computer telegraph." Hee hee. An e-mail. He doesn't know what it's called. He was very adament that Brenda send the telegraph now! because Aunt Carmen was leaving the office soon. Brenda tried to explain (again) that e-mails don't go anywhere, and Aunt Carmen can check them from home or work anytime. But he insisted, so Brenda sent the computer telegraph.

Grandma wanted to visit her grandkids (7 of us) and her great-grandkids (5). She just decided out of the blue 3 weeks ago, so they came. That day, Friday, Grandma did not make it upstairs until it was time for bed. She's had fluid in her left lung for at least 2 months now. The medical system in Puerto Rico is horrible. They've asked for the lung to be drained, but they said no, not until we run a CT scan. They went for a CT scan and have been awaiting the results....for 4 weeks. Four weeks of being out of breath and tired. They call & no one will tell them anything.

David & I gave my grandparents our bedroom. The guest room right now consists of a mattress on the floor, and there's no way they are getting up & down off the floor. J's bed is WAY too high for grandma to get on. Even my bed was a little difficult for her. She showered and Brenda helped her to bed. Last I remember, the boys, J & Jonathan, were playing DDR, Brenda was on the computer, and the grandparents were in bed as was Mrs. Squeaklefritz, who happilly went to bed at 8:30 p.m. after being serenaded by her great-grandpa playing guitar. I went to sleep in the guest room at around midnight.

At 2:00 a.m., Brenda wakes me to say that we need to take my grandma to the hospital. She was downstairs (?) and was having chest & back pain. Her face hurt too. It was not a stroke though; she was speaking clearly and had full motor function on both sides (Yay, CPR/First Aid Class). Also, Brenda's been studying for...6 months (?) for Medical Assistant and starts her externship on Monday. I head downstairs and grandma's on the couch. Her heart was beating erratically, her pulse was through the roof, and she said her chest hurt. I call David to see where he was - I did not want to leave the kids alone. He said he was just pulling in the driveway. I called 911 and proceeded to give them the wrong street - I told them we lived on "Avenue" rather than "Drive." David heard me & corrected me. I was nervous. As I'm calling 911, Grandma throws up. Brenda's tending to her and I'm running upstairs to get dressed. The Fire/Rescue team arrived first, in 5 minutes. Very nicely done Oh County of Mine. They were followed by the EMT's about 4 minutes after they arrived. The EMT's put her on a gurney and we (Brenda, Gramps and I) followed them to the Hospital. Florida Hospital Fish Memorial is about 9 miles away from my house in Orange City. They admitted her to the ER. I sat in the empty waiting room while Grandpa, with Brenda translating and helping calm him, went to give them her information. Grandpa was nervous and when he gets nervous he ... overreacts? No, that's not what I am trying to say. He gives too much detail, too much information that boggs things down. Brenda & I were trying to be quick & concise back at the house so we can get her the heck out of the house and to the hospital. They would ask a question about her medical history. No one knows her better than grandpa, but he would want to go into everything that happened with her, when all that was required was a "yes" or "no." Poor guy, I can't blame him, but we just wanted to hurry up. They asked what kind of medication she was on and he pulls out this HUGE make-up style bag FULL of medicine. Everything from stool softener, heartburn medicine, aspirin, to the real meds. Way too many. I tried looking through it briefly, but had no clue and just handed the huge bag to one of the EMT's, after removing the stool softener. :)

So, back to the hospital. We got there at 3 a.m. At 5 a.m. Brenda came out & told me to take gramps home for a nap and breakfast and then come back. She would stay with grandma. We came home at 5:15-5:20 and slept until 8:30 a.m., when Isabel woke me up. Breakfast made, kids fed, I woke David up at 10:30-ish to tell him we were leaving soon, as visiting hours started at 11:00 a.m. Brenda had since called to tell us that grandma was stabilized and in a room. We left at 10:45 and were in the hospital room from 11:15 or so until 7:30 p.m. MAN, hospitals are draining.

It's 11:59 on Sunday and I am SO tired. There's more to tell, but it'll have to wait. I am taking off tomorrow from work to take care of grandma at the hospital.

(Helpless, Buffy Season 3, Episode 12)

Go Fish - 10/16/2006

The other night, we were watching a local news station, and kept seeing commercials for seafood restaurants in our new county. The restaurants were all on the water, with outdoor tables, tons of steaming shellfish and cold beverages. I told David that that was the kind of seafood place I wanted to go to one day. We last went to Red Lobster. I like Red Lobster, but it's more of the "fast food" joint of the seafood restaurants.

Tonight, we went out. I thought we were going to Target to shop and then grab a bite to eat, only we went left on the main road instead of right. I thought maybe we were going to the shops in the next city over. Instead, David asked the GPS to find us seafood restaurants. We ended up in New Smyrna Beach. We drove up & down A1A looking at restaurants and decided on PJ's. It wasn't on the beach side, it was on the other side of the island. The lagoon side? Whatever. We sat outside in the cool, cool weather with the sun setting. We ate seafood-stuffed mushrooms and salads with fresh-baked bread. Our girl saw them take the bread out of the huge, round oven she called a "cave." J had a mushroom cheese burger, our girl had chicken nuggets, David had seafood-stuffed jumbo shrimp and rice, and I had Steamed Crab Legs & fries. It was messy and terrific. I told David that the restaurant was just what I had envisioned. He raised his hands in the air and did a white-boy dance. It was a fun time. We got in the car and drove up & down A1A looking at all the condos & homes on the beach. It took us about 25 minutes to get home

"Go Fish," Buffy Season 2, Episode 20

Rm w/a Vu - 10/12/2006

I was just painting the front entry way about two hours ago and pretty much stopped mid-stoke. I'm gonna pull a "Battlestar Gallactica" on you. Here we go.

48 hours ago:
I bring down a manila folder with all the paint samples available at Lowe's. HUGE folder. I asked David to look through it for ideas for the front entry way.

36 Hours Ago:
David shows me 5 different pamphlets. Each pamphlet has about 7 samples in it. I ask him to jot down which ones he likes. He mentions he likes the silver/grey color best. I mention it is too dark.

12 hours ago:
David calls me at work and asks me if I looked at the 5 cards he pulled out. I said yes, but he had not marked which ones he was talking about. He mentioned the silver/grey again. I mentioned again that I did not like it.

10 hours ago:
David calls me at work to say he has marked the samples with numbers 1-5. The silver/grey being his favorite. I should look at them, but the grey is his favorite. He then calls to say he's already gone and bought the grey paint.

4 hours ago:
David calls me from his work to ask if I had seen the grey paint. I said yes, and it's ugly and too dark. He gets upset that I never like what he chooses.

Side note: We have painted 10 rooms/areas, with a total of 15 colors. Ask me how many *I* chose? Five of 15. I chose the yellow loft, Jake's 2 colors, and helped choose the 2 in the kitchen. The other 10, David (the formal living room = 2. The formal dining room = 1. The family room = 1. The entry way =1 not counting grey. Our daughter's room = 2. Our master bedroom and bath = 2. He chose all those himself. And the UGLY turquoise color chosen for the family room that was not used.) He chose 10 colors! And he says I don't ever like what he chooses?

2 hours ago:
I start painting the main wall to the entry way. The front door entrance. What people will see when they first walk it. I am going to give this a shot, by gum. Maybe it will grow on me like the "Pensive Plum" did. This is not silver. It is grey. Steel grey. J walks down and says "Eww! Who picked that?" I stop after doing maybe 1/4 of one wall and go to clean the brush and pan. Maybe I need to see it with daylight? I don't know.

5 minutes ago
David just came home. I gave him the paint-choosing stats in his favor. We're sort-of just standing in the hall staring at the grey. We'll get back to you on it.

I've Got You Under My Skin - 10/11/2006

I had a pleasant surprise when I went to our mailbox this afternoon after work. Soaps! Yay Soaps!! Some of you know that I buy homemade soaps from a friend who is local. *waves at Amy* She makes soap in her home. A home filled with a mildly mentally challenged dog named Scout, a husband who I know personally as a saint, and four boys, FOUR. Ages 14, twin 12 year olds & one six year old. For about 4 years, I called the 12 year olds, "my twins." They were in Cub Scouts with my son (I was either the Assistant Den Leader or the Den Leader in those years) from Kindergarten through 5th grade. Of the 25 or so Tigers that started in 1st grade, my son, her twins and one other boy, were the only 4 that made it all the way through to Webelos & got their Arrow of Light. *pats self on back*

But enough about ME and the greatness that is me.

Back to soap: I've sent some as gifts to three sisters, sisters-in-law, mom-in-law, mom, grandma-in-law, teachers, etc. etc. They are YUMMY and I want to eat them. Go! Buy from Amy. The holidays are coming. Click on the links on the left of her site to see her seasonal & regular soaps. Today I received one each of: Brandied Pear, Cranberry Mint (minty!), Sunny Skies (smells like...the beach), Hazelnut Coffee ('nuff said), Snowy Night, Rosemary Mint with Dead Sea Mud, Once Upon a Hippy (Spa Salt Soap - should that say Sea Salt Soap?), one that smells like Autumn Spice and one that smells Vanilla-like (the last 2 were not labeled). She also included two tub teas, 4 small soap samples and a Moisture Rich Sugar Scrub - Patchouli & Lime (One Upon a Hippy). Main ingredient? SUGAR. See what I mean by wanting to eat it all. I had one sister tell me she uses them as decoration, because they were too pretty. My reply? Hello? USE them, she'll make more. I got my brother-in-law one with beer in it - he loved it. Said it was manly. Yup, you can go buy less expensive soap, that'll dry your skin out & make it feel stretched. Or you can INDULGE. :)

Don't worry, ladies. Christmas is coming and Soap Trios will be ordered.

This advertisement brought to you courtesy of the free stuff Amy always gives me.

"I've Got You Under My Skin," Angel Season 1 Episode 14

Fool for Love - 10/10/06

I'm sitting at the dining room table, while dinner is in the oven, with a pen & paper. Spread out across the table were 3 cookbooks (Betty Crocker - don't laugh, it's great, Fix it & Forget it for Crockpots, Rachel Ray 30-Minute Meals 2) and a Recipe Keeper binder. I was picking recipes so that I could plan my weekly shopping list. All the books are open and I'm writing away. My little girl walks up, sees the cookbooks and says "Food. I...wuff...food. I wuff hot... dogs." I laughed aloud and grabbed her for a smooch. She loves her hot dogs.


"Fool For Love," Buffy Season 5, Episode 7

Lessons - 10/06/2006

If the current fiasco involving Republican Senator (senator, right?) Foley has not taught you anything, you need to go back to school. We live in a society now where anything we say, or more importantly anything we type, can come back and bite you in your nethers. If you think no one is reading, you are a fool. You think these e-mails and IM's go away once you hit delete? Please. That little bit of information is not only saved on the recipient's e-mail address, but your computer, and the server of the e-mail provider you are using. Let's also not forget that ever-popular "forward" button. Lord forbid you work for a company with an IT department. They ARE reading your e-mail and probably have some e-mail policy saying they can do so. Pay attention class: if it's something you do not want to get out, something private and personal...pick up a phone. Or better yet, talk to the person face to face. Information is everywhere. You can't stop the signal.

"Lessons," Buffy Season 7, Episode 1

Becoming Pt. 1 - 10/04/2006

David called me yesterday at 4:15 to say J still was not home. He rides his bike and is usually there by 3:40. He tried calling J's phone, but did not get an answer. I call - no answer. Then about 10 minutes later, J calls me & says "I'm home." I said "What took you so long?!? I was worried." He said "You worry too much. I was walking home with a friend."

"Oh, who?"
"This girl."
"Reeeeeaaalllly?"
"Mom, stop."
"What's her name?"
"Pamela..I gotto go, I'll talk to you later."

Later on, I asked more. She's in 7th grade, half German, half Hispanic (she's a little darker than you mom) and she "seemed lonely" so he walked with her.

Today? David drove him to school so he did not have his bike, so he can walk home again.
Is that a new grey hair I see? I needed a new box of Miss Clairol anyway.

Becoming Pt. 1, Buffy Season 2, Episode 21