Listening to Fear - 07/26/2006

Hello There,

Long time no talk. We've just been working & living. J's been with his dad's side of the family and I had a minor scare yesterday & today. I called his dad to talk to J. The call went straight to voice mail. I call J's big brother. That call went straight to voice mail. So, I call Jake's grandpa Al. Al has not heard from them and he's mad - it's 7:23 p.m. and they were supposed to be there at 7 for dinner (all 3 of them; J, his dad & brother). J's dad called Al to see if they could come over for dinner. Low on $$ and all. So Al says yes, and they are late. I ask Al to have J call me when he gets there.

9:30 p.m. I call Al. They still have not arrived, and both the phones are still going to voice mail. I was both furious and scared. I did not give J his cell phone this visit because his dad ended up keeping it for a week to use as his personal phone the last time J was with him, and let me tell ya..I am NOT funding my ex-who-has-not-paid-child-support-in-three-years and his phone needs. I left more messages. I called again at midnight and left even angrier messages involving missing persons and police.

6:30 a.m. Voice mail on both cell phones again (J's dad and J's brother). I am now imagining (a) a scene involving ditches and paramedics and (b) a scene involving my ex absconding with both boys and (c) my ex taking the boys to the beach or something and not telling anyone. Scenario A was first & foremost on my mind. I call Al in tears at 7:30 and he promises to go by J's brother's apartment. He goes, and sees no cars there. He leaves and calls me to say he'll start calling local hospitals. I am at work and am shaking. Al calls back and says "J is fine. I thought it was weird that both cars were gone. Greg and little Greg don't hang out. They went off in different directions, so I went back to the apartment and knocked on the door. J peeped his head out a side window (good boy for not opening the door) and said 'Hi Grandpa!'" At which, I started bawling again and asked to speak with him. Mr. Nonchalant thought I was utterly insane for crying and was fine. He left with his grandpa back to his house.

Too much drama for this mama. I'm thinking of getting a parental block phone for J. He can only make calls to me, and 2 or 3 other phones I preprogram.

Off to happier subjects: I....am a hottie. Yes, yes. I know, shocking? David took our girl to work with him yesterday. He & I work less than 3 miles away from each other, so I was to go get her after I got off. He got there early to show her off to his new manager. I arrive, all spiffy because our VP had come to visit the branch that day. I am in my Anne Taylor turquoise shirt that I love, my brown Wentworth slacks, and my wonderful brown/turquoise shoes that I blogged about a few months back. LOL Anywhoo, I meet the new boss, pick up my girl and leave.

Today, David tells me of a conversation he & his boss had. He said something to the effect of: "Wow. David, you did GOOD." And then something about them being average Joe's and he hopes he could get someone like me too. *snort*
So, yea. Hottie.

What's My Line Pt 2 - 07/17/2006

My sister Brenda & her son Jonathan kept giving us things they did not want or use. Brenda gave me a maroon gauzy 3/4 sleeved shirt. Today I decided to go grocery shopping while David was still here and the toddler was napping. Throw my jeans on, grab some sandals and my new-to-me shirt. Oy. The shirt has these long slits down each sleeve. I did not realize this until I put it on. It just screams: "LOOK AT ME, I'M PUERTO RICAN!!"

Yes, I am Puerto Rican. I live in Central Florida which, after New York, has become "little Puerto Rico." I enjoy being able to speak Spanish and being from a small island, etc., etc. My problem? The fact that a lot of other Puerto Ricans perpetuate the stereotype of the loud, rude, wearing-my-jeans-too-low-look-at-my-thong, my-shirt-is-two-sizes-too-small-check-out-my-belly-and-flabbiness, my-hair-is-slicked-back-so-tight-I-can-stick-my-nose-in-my-ear Hispanic female. The women who are too young and yell at the top of their shrill voices to their little boys in Wal-Mart: "Ven ACA, hijo de la gran puta!!" (calling their sons "sons of whores," while not realizing the irony that they are these boys' mothers, and hence, they are the whores. True story. Saw it with my own eyes). The "I want to be in your face so I will drive a car so low it hits the ground, play music so loud it will one day cause me to wear a hearing aid, my seat is so far back, you can barely see me driving" guys that go with them are so fun too. I get embarrassed by these people. Did I mention that my sisters call me the "White" sister? Just because I am from Puerto Rico does not mean that I now have to act a certain way or listen to certain music (please stick an ice pick in my ear if I am ever near Reggeaton (sp?) again!) I am Puerto Rican and intelligent? *gasp* College graduate?? No! Make over minimum wage (a lot over) Perish the thought! I must be an abberation!

You need to aspire to do something greater than be just a stereotype for your nationality or culture. Notice I don't say race. This was another discussion I had recently.

Back when David and I were going to school, there were only 3 races: Caucasoid (or Caucasian), Mongoloid and Negroid. This is not made up or me being racist. Look it up. Puerto Ricans are Caucasians - notice I did not say white. White is not a race, it's a color. Caucasian does not mean you are white. It means you are of the Caucasoid group. Mongoloids (such a weird word), includes Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, etc. I can't & won't argue this all, because even to this day, these words are being bantered & argued over. The US Government Census has even expanded what the term is, because people get so confused.

I love Wikipedia: Quote:
The 22nd federal census, in 2000, had a "short form"[3] that asked two race/ancestry questions:
1. Is the person Spanish/Hispanic/Latino?
No, not Spanish/Hispanic/Latino
Yes, Mexican, Mexican American, Chicano
Yes, Puerto Rican
Yes, Cuban
Yes, other Spanish/Hispanic/Latino (write in group)
2. What is the person's race?
White
Black, African American,
American Indian or Alaska Native (write in tribe)
Asian Indian
Chinese
Filipino
Japanese
Korean
Vietnamese
Native Hawaiian
Guamanian or Chamorro
Samoan
Other Pacific Islander (write in race)
Other race (write in race)

This census acknowledged that "race categories include both racial and national-origin groups."
"National-Origin groups". See. Race and National Origin. They are mixing both, confusing the term Race for us all.

David had someone at work once argue with him because David kept telling him he (the other guy) was Caucasian. The person got incredibly irate with David for calling him white (LOL - Caucasian does not equal white, people) and yelled at him that it was "people like you!!" that perpetuate racism. No, it's just ignorance. LOL

Back to my shirt. I wore it to Winn Dixie (grocery store) and felt like a total doofus doing so. I felt like I need to be wearing 4 inch stilettos, TIGHTER jeans, and be at a club shaking my thang, wherever my thang happens to be at this moment, as thangs have expanded and dropped. I wish I could sew.

What's My Line Pt. 1 - 07/17/2006

Just got back from a mini-vacation. Took a 4 day weekend off to go visit my sisters in West Palm. But first...PICTURES!! I cannot even remember what pictures I said I would post though.

Here's the bedroom and the blinds. See how the color of the bedroom changes in light? What a pain. Oh & the new ceiling fan in our room that David installed.

Man, seriously dark storm outside right now. So if this Blog seems to end mid-sentence, it's because my power went out or the computer froze. Miracle Mrs. Squeak can sleep with all the racket going on outside.

Speaking of racket, we heard the space shuttle sonic booms this morning around 9 something a.m. They sounded more like thunder than booms.

Back to my weekend. We WERE going to a family reunion, and had put a $50 deposit down for it last year. When we did so, we had not even thought of buying a new house. Then in January, we put the $$ down on this lot, and the rest is history. Had we driven up to PA, and spent the $$ on the food and lodging, etc., we would have spent about $1k. We really wanted to go to the reunion, but we did not feel comfortable spending more $$. We have a larger house with TWO AC units, which equals humongous light bill. I'm skeert, so we decided not to go. We luckily did not have to pay anything extra, just the $50 deposit, which is fine with me. Not their fault we had to bail at the last minute.

As I still had the time off, we decided to head to West Palm. We stayed with my sister Brenda (the one who came up here to help me move stuff into the U-Haul). Saw one of my best friends, Kelli Kelli Elliot, went to Bed Bath & Beyond and got my comforter set (Vivaldi. # 1 for those of you in the e-mail "know"). My sister Vicky had a 20% off one item coupon and we used it on the comforter set, which BTW, was on clearance. We have to buy KING-SIZED PILLOWS!! LOL the shams look so funny. Like floppy little bunny ears, because we have regular pillows in them. The picture of the bedroom will just have to wait until then, sorry.

Visited Vicky's mansion (lol) before the shopping and David & Mrs. Squeak went for a swim on Saturday. Then, we went shopping, went to Chili's for a late lunch and then back to Brenda's. Saw Kelli again at her house too.

Fede got baptized on Sunday. My pictures came out horrible, because the church was large & dark. Jonathan, my nephew (Brenda & Fede's son), is not a church-goer. Neither is Brenda, for that matter. They went to support Fede. He did not think Jon & Brenda would be there. When they call the baptism candidates, all 12 of them, in from behind the pulpit somewhere, Jonathan gets up (we're WAY in the back), walks all the way down that long aisle (mind you - NOT a church loving guy), and hugs his dad. Brenda & I were crying. It was a touching moment. We went to Denny's after for Breakfast/Lunch and then ended up staying longer (reading books, playing Guitar Hero) because our little gorgeous gal fell asleep and we wanted her to have a nice nap.

We drove home late Sunday, me in a panic at our house being broken in to cause I am a freak. Or OCD. Depends on who you talk to. Speaking of OCD...not trying to make light of that disease, I would never tease anyone about having it, because I've known people with family members who do have it, and it's not funny to me, but speaking of:

From Wikipedia.com:
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.

The phrase "obsessive-compulsive" has worked its way into the wider English lexicon, and is often used in an offhand manner to describe someone who is meticulous or absorbed in a cause. Such casual references should not be confused with obsessive-compulsive disorder; see clinomorphism. It is also important to distinguish OCD from other types of anxiety, including the routine tension and stress that appear throughout life. A person who shows signs of infatuation or fixation with a subject/object, or displays traits such as perfectionism, does not necessarily have OCD, a specific and well-defined condition

So, no, I don't have OCD.

From helpguide.org:
Obsessions are recurrent, persistent, unwanted ideas, thoughts, images or impulses that are experienced involuntarily, appear to be senseless, and feel out of control. They commonly intrude when you are trying to focus on thinking or doing other things. Obsessions are often accompanied by uncomfortable feelings, such as fear, disgust, doubt, or a sensation that things have to be done in a way that is "just so."

Some common obsessions include:

fear of danger to oneself or others
fear of contamination
a need for exactness or order
sexually explicit or repugnant thoughts

A compulsion is a repetitive behavior - a ritual - that you feel driven to do, and seemingly cannot stop doing. Compulsions represent your attempts to manage your obsessions by doing something to resolve them. For example, if an obsessive worry is whether or not the door was locked, then a compulsive response might be to check the lock repeatedly.

Obsessions and compulsions range from mild checking behavior (did I turn off the iron?) to severe cases where compulsive actions prevent normal life functioning. If we think of obsessive-compulsive traits and behaviors on a continuum of varying degrees and intensities, most people experience them with little or no negative consequence on their daily lives and relationships.

So still, not so much of the ME. Cause...ew.

But THIS I thought was interesting. From helpguide.org again:

What is obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)?

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) is a condition characterized by a chronic preoccupation with rules, orderliness, and control. Individuals with OCPD do not have the same intense obsessions and compulsions as those with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Instead, a person with OCPD is obsessed with:

• perfectionism (a belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable)
• orderliness (a focus on routine, patterns, and order)
• control (the need to control others and oneself)

If you have OCPD, you may find it hard to get things done because your standards are unrealistic and impossible to uphold. People with OCPD seldom think they have a problem; family members or friends are often the first to notice and point out the problem. Some common signs of OCPD include:

perfectionism
inflexibility
preoccupation with details, rules, and lists
reluctance to allow others to do things
excessive devotion to work
restricted expression of affection
lack of generosity
view of money as something to be hoarded; a tendency to be stingy
rigidity and stubbornness
inability to throw things away, even if there is no sentimental or financial value in the object

Vicky, Brenda & I were discussing this list this weekend, and I told them I would post it so they could read. Vicky and Brenda both agreed to a lot of the OCPD stuff in them. We were rolling on the floor. "Perfectionism" - Brenda & Vicky would raise their hands. "Preoccupation with details, rules, and lists" - Brenda raised her hand. "Reluctance to allow others to do things because they won't do it right" - Brenda, Vicky & I raise our hands. "Excessive devotion to work" - NOT. "Restricted expression of affection" = ROFL! Have you MET us? "Rigidity and stubbornness " - Brenda raised her hand. Vicky & Me? Sometimes. "inability to throw things away, even if there is no sentimental or financial value in the object" - SO not us. lol "Lack of Generosity?" Brenda is generous to a fault at times.

So there's the list Brenda & Vicky. We all have a little bit of OCPD in all of us (not to be confused with OCD - I don't wash my hands a billion times, nor do I check my locks every 10 seconds, or worry that my iron is on, or think sexually repugnant thoughts.) The fact that I am efficient, organized, quick and productive (not to mention attractive, witty, intelligent and modest), should not have to equate me to having OCD.

Back to the weekend topic. The house was fine, the light bill for 22 days was WAY less than we were scaring ourselves over, (God is good all the time. All the time God is good.) and I am off Monday as well. Whoot.

Some Assembly Required - 07/05/2006

Mom, I am sorry. I really am. But I have to Blog this. It's a matter of civic duty (and also, you don't have a computer, I am evil, and will be punished).

So...mom calls and asks for some help for her husband Jose. Seems that my mom's husband Jose received a mailing at his daughter's house. He's a FINALIST in a SWEEPSTAKES. The drawing will be soon! In the meantime, in between time, he's been awarded a voucher for $400 off a $698 laptop. He mails the $298 check and receives a post card stating that the merchandise would be mailed in 14 days. Well, it's been over a month and they have not seen anything. *bells ringing* *scam* *scam* She gives me the account number, the phone number and the name of the company: Sweepstakes Clearinghouse. *dingdingding* I asked mom if she was serious. I said that this sounded like a scam. She asked what that word meant in Spanish. I explained it to her, and told her I would call her back.

The phone number with a Dallas exchange put me through to the computer, that politely mentioned the merchandise was mailed May 9th...almost 2 months ago. When I tried to connect to customer service, I was told to call back during business hours. What business hours, you ask? I don't know - I got hung up on after that message.

I decided to Google Sweepstakes Clearinghouse. Go on, get ye to Google. Find the many, many web sites about the complaints filed my various people and ..oh yes, the entire state of Iowa. When an entire state files a lawsuit, you know something's fishy.

I called mom back & told her the bad news. I told her I would follow up during "business hours" and see what they said, but to be aware that they are possibly out of $300. Well, not they. He. It's all his money, she gets a $20 weekly allowance, but I'm not bitter.

There are complaints about sending $44 for a tv, and getting one with a 5" monitor! Five Inches! Others tried getting a stereo or computer, and ended up paying extra c.o.d. charges up to $50. The computer is so old & so bad, it is not even funny. This website below shows a copy of the flyer for the computer....a dinosaur with 128 MB of memory. Woo.
Click Here for one such website - scroll down a bit when you get to the page.
I know older people get scammed and it disgusts me. My mom's husband, though, knows better. He should know better. It just blows my mind. You can't get something for nothing. Buyer, PLEASE beware. Some Assembly Required...mainly to your checking account.