Not trying to bring anyone down or anything, but my blog lately has been a little deeply mired in sadness and/or seriousness. Huzzah! This one is no different. Just having the stress of last week has given me deep thoughts, and not the "Jack Handy" type either.
Ever wonder who will take care of you when you are older? Are you forging deep familial bonds that will take you through to your 80's and on? Man, I hope I am. I hope that one day, someone will have the respect and strength to take care of me. It'll be difficult; I'll be a mean old lady, I'm sure. I'll be grey and have a fat bottom and REALLY bad knees. I just hope someone will have had that something instilled in them, whether my kids by me & David or someone else by their family, that something that will help them take care of me if David can't.
I think about my mom a lot, and who will take care of her. I think it would be me. She's in Puerto Rico, with no pension or 401k, no savings, just her social security. She's married to a man who I'd rather not discuss. OK, I lie. He's quite the machista who would not let my mom work to make her own money, but then does not give her money to spend, unless it is for groceries or house supplies. If the sisters & I send money, she hides it. She just started getting social security and he NOW tells her she can have it direct deposited into his account. They've been together over 10 years (?) and she has never had access to his account. NOW that she's getting a monthly check, by all means, have it direct deposited into his account. Whatever. Mom told him to go fly a kite. LOL If anything happens to him...strike that. WHEN something happens to him, who will take care of her? She's not even sure she is a beneficiary on any of his life insurance policies or pensions. He has kids from a previous marriage, etc. Who knows what will happen to mom.
We kids....we owe our parents, not the other way around. I see grown ADULTS treat their parents as if the parents owed them something. Wahhh! It's pathetic and embarrassing. Those that are not embarrassed by their behavior, those who are clueless, are even worse. My mom raised us basically on her own. She did the best she could under the circumstances to raise three beautiful (lol) head-strong women. Brenda, Kaaren & Vicky. Mom did her best, but we're so different. Different personalities act ...you guessed it...differently. Our parents did what they could with what they had. The fact that you were difficult is not their fault. We're all dysfunctional, yada yada, and I don't make light of people who were abused by their parents. I'm talking about the caring, loving parents who did the best they could with what they had. They don't OWE you anything now that you are grown. Take care of your own messes, your parents don't owe you anything. Be an adult, for Pete's sake!
Life sometimes gets in the way. If your parents help you out during a time of need, more power to you. Pay them back. Mom does not OWE me anything. She does not need to help me pay a bill or work so she can take care of me, a grown woman. It's the other way around. I owe HER. Payback is due on my part, and when the time comes, I will be there. I want to be.
(The Yoko Factor, Buffy Season 4, Episode 20)
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