No Place Like Home - 01/26/2007

Hello All,

I just got back from Chicago. I arrived this morning at my house at around 12:30 a.m. Late flight. I flew up Wednesday afternoon, and flew back Thursday evening. COLD!! Wednesday night, 6 of us went to dinner at a fantastic Italian restaurant. The kind where the people are actually Italian. The food was GREAT.

Thursday was spent in a conference room, brain-storming. I had a really good time and met people I had known through work for years and years, but never met face to face. One hired consultant, our Vice President /Inventory/computer guru who I love to death, and four "Power Users" of our computer system. That would be moi. It is nice to be appreciated for your talents. Really, I am not kidding.

Just some airline observations:

Apparently, carry-on luggage dimensions are "optional" for some people.

PAY ATTENTION to what socks you are wearing, because you have to take off your shoes. Holey socks - not so nice. I am talking from experience here. Manicure your toenails, too ladies.

Yes, you have to take your jacket off.

Yes, you have to take your laptop and camcorder out of their cases.

Yes, it really is only 3 ounces of liquid/gel items that you can take on a plane. For the 10th time, No, you can't take that water bottle in. No, that monster-sized toothpaste is not considered 3 ounces just because you squeezed half of it out.

Those 3 ounces of saline/perfume/toothpaste, mouthwash, etc. etc......they all have to fit in one quart-sized zipper-type plastic bag. Not a gallon size, not two quart-sized bags. One per person.
Even though they are calling Group # 2 to board, half the people from Group # 6 are blocking your way in to the plane. Because just by standing near the gate door, the space/time continuum will speed up and they will get on.

All planes leaving from or going to Orlando will have kids on it. Crying kids, happy kids, whiny kids. Deal with it. It is ORLANDO.

I hate turbulence and those fluffy clouds that cause it.

I LOVE how, when we have just taxied to the gate, everyone rushes to stand up, get their items from the overhead bin and THEN.....they wait. And wait. And Wait. Why are they STANDING there? You are not going anywhere until they actually open the door. I call it the "Hurry Up and Wait" portion of the evening.

Thankfully, expense accounts take care of the $34 parking fee for one day and half.

Spin the Bottle - 01/22/2007

LADYS DRINK FREE 7-10 P.M.

That's right. LADYS. That's how it was spelled on the sign in front of a local bar. We saw this on the way to the mall yesterday & Jake pointed it out. Good thing *he* knows it's spelled wrong.

Another one in Longwood: The ResTUarant. Not the restaurant, the restuarant. In big, bold red letters, permanently affixed to the front of the building. We drive by it and say "Who wants to eat at the ResTOOOOO-a-rant?" By the way, you don't want to. It is beyond greasy spoon. I went in once, and that was enough. They can't spell AND they can't cook.

A sign on each pump at a Longwood gas station, asking people to prepay and apologizing for the "inconveanants". After staring for a while, trying to figure this little gem out, I took a pen and wrote the right spelling on the sign in front of me. I did not dare to change the other 7 mispelled signs, though. What am I, a freak or something?

Also, it's not a "Mute Point." Please, stop. Please. You're killing me. The point is not mute, nor is it Moo, Joey. (Although Joey's reasoning IS funny.) It's Moot. It's a Moot Point.


P.S. READ "The Lovely Bones." Don't be put off by my not liking one part of the entire book. A few people (5) have commented that they loved the book. It may just be me being weird about one part. READ. It's good stuff!

As You Were

Back to the book I was reading: The Lovely Bones. I did end up finishing it the next evening. It was a really good book, until one part near the end. Not a MacGuffin really, nor a Deus Ex Machina. More of an .."incongruous" moment. If you have read the book, you know what I am talking about. It's a beautiful book just slightly dinged by this one plot device that just does not fit. Read it and let me know what you think. Oh, by the way, they are filming this as a movie in 2007. Peter Jackson (if you live in a cave, he's the Lord of the Rings director) bought the rights to the movie and will be directing it. No cast list is available yet.

I also finished, in 3 hours, Mitch Albom's "The Five People You Meet in Heaven." If one of your resolutions this year was to read more, but you dread it, read this book. It's an easy read and quite enjoyable. It's not Pulitzer winning stuff, but it's a good read. Another book about Heaven.

My library experience yesterday was a bit of a bummer. I went to go pick up Mr. Albom's book that I had held for me. While I was there, I decided to have them update my address. They told me that they could not, and I could not check books out, as I no longer live in Seminole County! They do not have reciprocity with Volusia county. They do with Orange county (which is why I can get books out of the library downtown) and with Lake county, but not Volusia! They were nice enough to let me bring home Mr. Ablom's book, but now I don't know if my account has been flagged or what. I did the address change attempt at the information desk, not at the front desk, which is where I picked up & checked out the book. I need to return this book and see what happens next. I work about 5-7 miles away from it. It's convenient for me to go there during my lunch breaks. And I love this library. I know where everything is. I have been going to it for 9 years - I still have the OLD library card. I have only been to the branch here in my city twice, both times with Isabel. Technically, I have not explored this library, as I chased her around the children's section (which is almost as nice as my old library) the entire time. So.....do I lie and pretend I still live in Seminole county? Isn't that wrong? Gahhhhh!

Dead Man's Party - 01/12/2007

Anyone see the movie "Donnie Darko?" It is a.... psychological? .... Sci-Fi.....what is it? movie about a disturbed young man. He's schizophrenic and sees a 6 foot tall frightening bunny....most definitely not "Harvey," but Frank, whose voice he hears during the day and who gives him a verbal portent of doom to come in like 26 days. This movie is existential, it's not rational. HE is not rational, yet things click into place in the end in an eerie culmination that keeps you thinking long after it is over. Jake Gyllenhal plays a convincing sad, confused oftentimes disturbed Donnie with the apropos last name. He lives and sees things in a level of reality that others can't see and his "visions" that others think are the babbling of an insane person reveal themselves to be true, but only to the audience. The ending took me a second to understand; the portal, the engine, the book the lady wrote, the second reality. It was dark, I was sad, and it was good. If you want a movie that will make you think, rent Donnie Darko.

On the literary front, I checked out "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. This was a recommendation from my pal Wendy. It was one of her book club books. Side note: I would LOVE to join a book club. She's in Minnesota, so no joining hers. I can't though, with David and my work situation.

Back to Ms. Sebold's book. I got it Thursday during my lunch break. I came home at 5:30-ish and started dinner. I bathed Isabel, and did other things, as I started to read bits and pieces throughout the night. At 11:30 p.m., when I stopped reading, I had gone through 261 pages.
The story is told by a 14 year old girl who has just been murdered. She is in heaven looking down on her parents, siblings, her friends, her town, her murderer. She is watching life unfold after she is gone. It is heart-wrenching. My heart actually ached while reading this; my eyes teared up at some points. It's the struggle of this girl; the struggle of this poor family, dealing with their loss individually, rather than as a whole. It's the breaking of some relationships, and the strengthening of others. I was extremely melancholy when I went to bed. Wendy told me to take heart; the ending is great. I have less than 100 pages to go, but I want to wait until Isabel is in bed before I give this book my full attention.

Smile Time - 01/06/2007

The year: late 1995/early 1996.

Jake is either 2 or almost 2. I was feeling HORRIBLE. I had the flu. It was "winter," (Florida winter is SO not winter.) and I was ill.

Jake's dad helped me up the stairs of the two-story condo we were renting and started a bubble bath for me. He then sat Jake on the toilet seat (lid down), to keep me company. There are bubbles everywhere and Jake is jabbering away. As bubbles move away from covering certain strategic places, Jacob points and HAPPILY SHRIEKS, "A puppy!! A puppy!!" Jake's dad runs up the stairs in a panic, as he heard me sputtering and, what he thinks, is painful spasm-yelling. What he finds is me, in pain, but laughing HYSTERICALLY. It hurt to laugh (I had a very raw, sore throat), but I could not help it, and I sputtered away as I tried to explain what Jacob had just said.

The year: 1996 or so.

The place - my 1994 Honda Civic two-door car. I am driving, Jake is in the back seat directly behind me, in his car seat. "Here Mommy." He wants to hand me something, but he is directly behind me. I say "Hold on, baby," and continue driving. "Here mommy. Here mommy. Mommy, here. Mommy. MOMMY HERE!" I contort my right hand around the back of my chair and put my hand somewhere near him, palm up. He gives me whatever it is he is yelling about. I pull my hand back up front....to find a booger firmly squashed in my palm.

The year: 1998. The Place: Winn Dixie grocery store.

(Publix is another grocery store chain here too). Jake, around 4, and I are grocery shopping. He decides he is going to sass me in front of other patrons. I pull him aside and sternly say "Don't you dare talk back to me in public!!" His eyes well up, he starts to cry and he says "But we're not IN Publix, we're in Winn Dixie!"

Happy Friday!

Guise Will Be Guise - 12/25/2006

Feliz Navidad Todos! We hope you are having a great Christmas Day. We've had a swell weekend.

Saturday night, Niki came by to visit and spend the night. She's down from Maryland visiting her parents, and came by to see the house and spend a day. We went to the Olive Garden for dinner, where we were placed waaaaaaay in the back of the restaurant. So we were loud. :) It was fun. I think the waitress liked us, even WITH the whole "Niki asked for no green peppers because she's allergic to them, and they gave them to her anyway" thing. She didn't get sick, so it was all good. The waitress was totally scared Niki would have some kind of reaction. She kept coming by the table to check on us.

We stopped at Target to pick up some bread and ...something else I can't remember. I just remember Jake swinging the bread around and then plopping it under the PlayStation 3 demo so he could play it. Niki looks at the bread, looks at me and says "Man, your bread is toast." (pause) To which she & I burst out laughing hysterically, leaving David dazed and confused. It was funny! Bread...toast. *snicker*

Niki spent the night and then Sunday morning, after I remove a substantial chunk out of my ankle shaving (it is still bleeding - I removed the band-aid to change it, and it's still running), my sister Brenda, nephew Jonathan and his dad Fede came up. Brenda got to meet Niki (one of David's oldest friends) and said of Niki: "I like her. She has such a bubbly personality. And she's brave. She drives all over the place by herself!" (Brenda won't drive anywhere more than 1/2 hour by herself. That 1/2 hour is her going to work.)

While Brenda and Niki were getting on, I was driving Jake over to his dad's side of the family's Christmas Dinner. My nephew came to keep me company. Jake went with his family and I went back home. Niki was almost in her car to leave when Jonathan & I pulled back into the driveway. David left for work half an hour later.

Fede made "Viandas & Bacalao." A Puerto Rican dish. I have never made this dish, so he showed me step-by-step as he did it. White Sweet Potatoes (the only way I can describe it), Onions and "Malanga" (another veggy) served in olive oil & garlic with cod fish served with olive oil, garlic & onions. I'm burping just thinking about it. I LOVE this dish, but it keeps loving me back for HOURS later.

Several hours later, I drove back, this time with Isabel and Brenda, to go get Jake at his aunt's house. Jake's aunt gave Isabel a present (very sweet). We got back to watch Jonathan & Jake dance, while Isabel fawned over my sister Brenda's baby chihuahua, Rica. 9 weeks old and teeny! Excuse my saying this but....My daughter's poops are bigger than this dog. She's SO CUTE! The dog, not my daughter's poop.

David arrived home a little after....9:30 p.m.? I can't remember. We let Jake open some birthday presents from my sister. He got a really cool chess set. It's called a Mystical Creations Dragon Chess Set. Wizards, dragons, etc. Really nice.

Here's where the guise comes in to play.

My sister, her husband and son kept bugging us all day to be able to open Christmas presents. I kept saying no. We do it on Christmas day. After Jake opens his wizard chess set, Brenda asks us to come downstairs to the room with the Christmas tree in it. They want to open ONE present, just One, they beg. I concede to only one person getting a present; the one who finds the hidden Christmas pickle in the tree. They search and Jake ends up finding it.

Brenda then hands Jake another birthday present they forgot to give him. Jake opens it, and it's a Playstation game. Cool! Until David mentions "Hey, that's for PS3!" We don't own a PS3. We will never own a PS3 as long as those suckers are as expensive as they are. We do not work our patooties off to throw away that much $$ on a game system. And if you know me, you know my feeling on video games anyway. I tolerate them because I love my two men. Jonathan looks at Brenda and says "Mom! You got the wrong game! PS2! Not PS3!!" Brenda says something like "Oh, I'm sorry! I still have the receipt," while I am saying "It's ok, she can exchange it or mail us the receipt and we can change it out." By this time, Jonathan (or Brenda?) has pulled out the one gift that Jake can open because he found the Christmas pickle. A rather large gift with a handle. I am clueless.

This is Jake's face as he opens up....his Playstation 3. My insane family bought my son a PS3. What? WHAT?? All three of our jaws drop. We are stunned. The 3 of them are laughing hysterically at how they "got us." We're shocked, and saying that this is just too much. They wave us off. They wanted to do this, etc. etc. We're just sitting there, in shock. And I am feeling like a schmo. I got them each gifts that were like, $25 for one, $30 for the other and $25 for the other, and they get him a PS3? Gahhh! My brother-in-law is SO generous, and I felt like I totally let him down because all I got him was a Target gift card because I could not think of what else to get him.

Jake was in HEAVEN, as you can imagine. We were a little shocked, have I mentioned we were shocked yet? Jake in his tween and now teen years has been testing the limits of sarcasm and rudeness as of late, and it's almost like....here...have a $600 present. Yay! We've already had to kick him off of it because he proclaimed that this was "HIS" PS3 and David could not play it once Jake went to bed. *shakes head*

We went to bed and got up around 8:30 a.m. to my brother-in-law already cooking a pork (pernil) in the oven. He was so hungry for it at 8:30 a.m. because he'd been up at 3 in the morning checking on it and basting it. We opened our presents (insert feeling like a schmo again here). We had tons of presents from friends and family members under the tree. We don't open them until Christmas day, even if we get them early in the mail. So we're opening a million gifts and my sister & family are sort-of just sitting there with the lame gifts we got them. *sigh*

Brenda cooked some Puerto Rican rice (arroz con gandules) and I made a green bean casserole. I also put a pre- made apple pie in the oven. (I baked a cheesecake yesterday from scratch, and a chocolate cake the day before). Christmas dinner was served....at 10:30 a.m. Funny.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Beneath You - 12/23/2006

I hate to mop. Because I have mop issues. Can someone PLEASE tell me that they have a mop they love? I HATE MOPS! Hate, hate, hate. I have yet to find a mop that does the job. At my old house, I would end up on my hands and knees, with a bucket and a scrubby brush, hand scrubbing and hand wiping the floor, because no mop could get it clean enough for my liking. Now that I have more floor to mop, this is no longer an option for me.

I had a regular sponge mop. Those are horrible. They do nothing to actually clean stains off the floor.

I bought a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Mop. Don't bother. Biggest waste of $15 or so ever. This thing does nothing for stains, nothing. And it tends to just move dirty water around. I will rinse the mop under hot, clean water in the empty side of the sink, before dipping it into the side of the sink with the water & cleaner. Still, it pushes the dirt around rather that absorbing it.

I bought a Swiffer Wet jet. It's kind of cool. You spray this liquid thing out of it, and then just dry-wipe it with the papery thing underneath. My problem with this is...you're just spraying this chemical and wiping it up and...is it building up? Where is the follow-up wet wiping of this chemical off the floor? I'm finding it weird that there is not water wiping it up. It smells weird too. Too sweet. I have been using the Swiffer to spot clean in between moppings, which is great.
I still need a regular mop. David thinks I am weird. I have had mop issues for YEARS. Years. Anyone have any ideas? If so, PLEASE let me know.

Dear Boy 12/21/2006

Jake....is a teen. Thirteen to be exact. Today. He is 13 today. I am officially old. Older. I've been old for a while. We took him to Disney Quest last weekend. We got him some smaller things too. From us, besides Disney Quest, he got the Lego Star Wars game for PS2, a t-shirt that reads "Books is Good" and a t-shirt that reads "What part of Moooohoooohaaahaaaa don't you understand." He also got $$ from one of my sisters, $$ and new headphones from my in-laws, $$ from David's grandma, another T-shirt from my friend Wendy and a long sleeved t-shirt from her too. He still has more stuff from his dad's side. He'll get those from them this Sunday.

Happy Birthday to one of the sweetest kids ever!

The Harvest 12/21/2006

Last night, Wednesday, we had our company Christmas Dinner.

MAN. Google Texas De Brazil and check it out. It was a lot of fun. Beautifully decorated but LOUD. You would think such a fancy/expensive place would have more of a refined, quiet atmosphere. Tons of employees working there. There is this amazing buffet. Not like a cheesy buffet. Very beautifully done. You walk around and get your salads & such. Things like baked salmon, white rice & beans (Brazilian style), lobster bisque, mozzarella balls dipped in oil & garlic, sushi, potato salad, Parmesan cheese wedges, fried yucca, all kinds of greens, breads, the list goes on & on.

This is the centerpiece of the buffet area.

Then, at your place setting, you have this little plastic-coated paper chip. One side it red and the other is green. There are men running around with these large skewers that they have pulled out of these huge roasting fires. You can see them cooking in a glass room.

Anyway, if your disk is green facing up, these men will stop by your plate and offer to carve you filet mignon, chicken wrapped in bacon, lamb, pork, top sirloin, sausage, etc. etc. If your disc is red, they pass you by. If the person sitting next to you has green, they will stop by and feed them. It was flippin' hysterical. For dessert, we had our choice of 6 items. I chose my favorite, carrot cake, and a cappuccino.

The downside to the night was only two things. First, it was on International Drive. It took me an hour & 15 minutes to get there. It took an hour to get home. That, and David stayed home with the kids. No babysitter. It was too inconvenient. A Wednesday night is not a night to ask someone to watch your kids from say 5:30 to 10:00 p.m. David was actually ok not going. He did not want to drive in rush hour traffic down I-4 to International Drive. This is probably a restaurant we'll never go to, just because of the location and the price. Maybe for a special anniversary or something, when we can actually get a sitter. The night ended with a pep-thank-you talk by our salesman, who also bought us gift cards to Honey Baked Ham for a 7 lb. ham. It was a fun night.

Showtime - 12/16/2006

Jake's 13th birthday is this coming Thursday. Thirteen! A Teen! AAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKK! I remember 13. At 13, people my age were old farts. *I* am an old fart!

Jake gets to pick what he wants to do on his birthday. Usually, he chooses a restaurant & we go eat. Olive Garden was his pick a couple of times, Kobe Japanese Steak house (where they cook right in front of you) was another he's chosen. This year, though, he wanted to go to Disney Quest. It's an interactive, five-story....arcade, really, located at Downtown Disney (one of my most favorite places to take out-of-town guests. Downtown Disney is almost like going to Disney, but you can walk around the shops and places for free. When Jake I were were alone and on a tight budget, we'd go down there just to walk around and have fun, without having to spend any $$). Five floors of video games, interactive computer games and rides, the perfect place for a 13 year old.

This picture is actually the back of the place. I wish I had taken pictures of the front of it. It is huge, and dark inside. Isabel had a ball too. Check out her cute shirt. We started out by going on a white water rafting trip. A virtual white water rafting trip. It was fun. We got in a raft and the "water" moved us around. The raft was on an air-mattress, if you will, that inflated and deflated to simulate the motion of the water, as it pertained to the video we were watching on the screen.

Then, Jake & I went off to create our own roller coaster while David chased Isabel. You get a scan-card and go to a console. You create your own roller coaster, with loops, twists, drops, jumps, black hole jumps, etc. Then the scan-card saves your roller coaster and you go to the ride simulator. They load your roller coaster into the simulator and you get it. This simulator recreates the roller coaster you created. The thing had us upside-down, twisting & flipping.
David found the "retro" arcade, so I chased Isabel while he played Pac Man, Galaga, Frogger, Q-Bert, etc. You remember those, dont you? You're showing your age, my friend!

David and Jake went on a virtual Aladdin's Magic Carpet ride, while Isabel and I went to a room where you could "color" on a computer screen. She loved it. It was a touch screen and after two seconds, she had the whole program figured out. She made 5 masterpieces by the time David & Jake were done. We did a lot more running about. Jake found the DDR machine....NOT WORKING!! Gasp! They did have a different game called Pump It Up, similar to DDR, but the arrows were diagonal and there was a 5th button in the middle. Took him a bit to figure out the moves. There were a few other guys there playing too. They had been playing that game for a while, because they were all over it.

We went up to the 5th floor and ordered a slice of cheese pizza for Isabel and a whole pie for the rest of us, plus some sodas. Isabel ate all her pizza and was beginning to act loopy. David finished the pizza while Jake and I went to....battle some aliens? A virtual game for 4 people where you are in a spaceship and 3 of you have to shoot down the aliens while the 4th person, the pilot, picks up colonists. Jake ran into a few school friends who were also there, on the way to this game.

After killing aliens, David and I left with Isabel to go to the Jeep and change her diaper. David stayed in the car with Isabel while I went back inside to meet Jake. We stayed for a 20 minute drawing class (a Disney animator taught us how to draw Donald Duck) and then went back out to go home. Isabel had already fallen asleep in the car.

That was our fun Jake-Day celebration, a few days early.