BoBo - 12/27/2007

Everyone, say hello to Bobo.

Isn't he adorable? Click on him to make him bigger. Last Friday, while Jake was celebrating his birthday at his gradfather's, and David was working, Isabel & I had a girl's night out - which means shopping. While in Old Navy, Isabel discovered a bin full of stuffed animals and found the softest ever green monkey. Isabel and the monkey danced and danced, to the pleasure of store personnel. I asked one clerk "If you can find another green monkey and have him hidden by the register for me, I would really appreciate it." The Old Navy employee did this for me. I purchased some clothes, which they placed atop the green monkey in the shopping bag. Isabel was none the wiser. Kids are SO easy at this age.

Come Christmas morning and in the hubub, I forget green monkey, who was hiding out in my closet. I later find him and hand him to Isabel. She is so excited she hugs and kisses him. "Bobo" and she have been inseparable. He didn't have a name. I asked her what his name was, but she seemed confused by "naming him," so I asked, "Is his name 'Willy?'" "Nooooooo," she replied. "Is his name 'Greeny?'" "Nooooooo," she replied. "Is his name 'Bobo?'" "YES! BOBO!" and she hugged him.

Happy Birthday David - 12/27/2007

Do you all know how hard it is to have a son born 12/21 and a husband on 12/25? Do you? Do you know how hard it is to shop during Christmas?? It is HARD!!




My darling husband was born on Christmas Day.


Poor David. It can't be easy sharing a birthday with THE MAN.

We opened gifts early for him this year. His good friend Niki was in town, so we went to Joe's Crab shack and then back here for prez-nints. (click to see bigger).



Assassin's Creed Game & book, Wheaton Glee Club 100 year embroidered fleece blanket and polo, grill cooking utensils.

Happy (belated) Birthday David!

Aye, Amen! - 12/26/2007

Fifty bucks and a refilled brake line is all we needed. It was clouded up & causing our stick shift to stick.

Thanks to the local mom & pop mechanic outfit 2 miles from here, Osteen Automotive Repair, that helped us out immensely.

Aye Aye Aye - 12/26/2007

Well, here I am, Wednesday morning. I am supposed to be at work. BUT the clutch just died on the Jeep. Nothing says Christmas like a huge car repair bill. *sigh*

We knew this was coming. The clutch started acting up a month ago. Sometimes we just could not get it into first gear and would start in second. Other times, it worked perfectly. This morning, I could not get it in reverse. David managed to do it for me while it was shut off, but by the time I got to the end of the street, no amount of shoving or cajoling would get that car into any gear. NO WAY I am driving 20+ miles to work on a hope and a prayer. So, I turned off the Jeep, put it in reverse and got back to my driveway.



I am waiting for a coworker to come get me and then I will probably spend most of the day getting the Jeep towed, renting a car, and bracing myself for the estimate to get the clutch fixed.

Happy Birthday Jacob - 12/24/2007

Yes, I know I am a little late posting this. His birthday is on 12/21. It was on a Friday, his last day of school before break.

From David, Isabel and I, he got Sony Acid Music Studio 7. It allows him to create music on our computer. He never smiles, but he kept thanking me all day for buying him this. We also got him a Domokun sweatshirt.

It's a random Japanese cartoon character.

Happy 14th Jacob! You Rock! Now go clean your room. :)

Pupil Pianist - 12/20/2007

This is Jake's school piano recital. They had a show called "Cool Yule" with most of the kids taking piano lessons performing a small holiday piece.



And here he is at home playing a piano rendition of a song from In The Groove 2 (like Dance Dance Revolution) called Hard Core of the North.



Here's the video game with some random people dancing to the song he just played.

Hurray! - 12/19/2007

SHE DID IT!!



I think she was just as surprised as I was. She was begging for a diaper (we keep her in panties & try and try and try). Instead, I said let's got sit on the potty (again) and read books (again). She then ordered me out of the bathroom because she can read the books herself! She whines when she really has to go, but she just won't do it. There are tears, and cries and pain. Tonight, she whined a little, but I just think she forgot, because all of a sudden, I hear it. Her face was shocked and then we both clapped! It's a start!

Sanjaya! - 12/17/2007

Yes, this is his school picture. A Co-worker said "Hey, it’s Sanjaya!" Oh, it’s ok! It’s not like I am posting naked baby pictu…..










Huh. How'd that get there?

Gonna Find out Who's Naughty or Nice !- 12/13/2007

"Mom," Jake says. "Today, David asked me if I wanted to see if I could figure out what's in our stockings. I told him no way, it's cheating.......then we did it anyway."

This, dear friends, is my husband's wise influence yesterday. He & my son proceeded to touch, shake and manhandle all the gifts in their stockings!

Today, the phone rings at work.

Me: Thank you for calling blah blah blah, can I help you?

David: I can't believe you used industrial packing tape on the presents.

Me: Why are you touching the presents?

David: You taped them all over the place with this stuff!

Me: CAUSE YOU'RE A CHEATER WHO OPENS PRESENTS AND THEN PUTS THEM BACK!

He does. He peels them open and looks at them. WHY? Why do this? Why ruin the surprise? It made me SO mad!

I get home this evening.

Jake: Mom, David was shaking his present all around trying to figure out what it is.

I don't get this. Someone please explain this to me.

The Old Man and the Sea - 12/10/2007

We meet again, Mr. Hemingway. This time, it was a more fortuitous meeting.

Funny that I read two books, back to back, dealing with men stuck out at sea. "The Life of Pi" is often compared to "The old Man & the Sea."

Here we meet an old man, past his fishing prime. He has lost the young buy who was apprenticed to him, but he's not angered. He understands that he is old. He is old and poor and living in Cuba. He sets out one morning with the rest of the fishermen and ends up going far out to sea, being pulled by the larges Marlin he has ever seen. He considers it a battle of wills, that lasts for days and days. He respects this fish and knows in the end, he (the man) will win out.

I enjoyed Hemingway's writing this time. The old man has such a strength of character. He is a good man and you can feel it in his words and actions. He reveres things that the younger generation takes for granted or mocks. He is no longer proud in the sense of being stubborn. He is proud is being quiet, meek, and with a strong belief in his relationship to God, the sea and this fish, his brother.

He succeeds and also fails. I cringed at his return and all that happened, but I was glad he got home and everyone saw what this old man did - something they could never do.

Patella Expands - 12/06/2007

This weekend, David is sitting in the loft, playing Call of Duty 4 on-line. It's late and I am laying on the couch in the loft. I could go to bed, the bedroom door is 5 feet away. But I don't see David much except on the weekends, so I feel bad going to bed (he's a night owl). I compromise and lay on the upstairs couch with a blanket and pillow.

David's got his head set on and is talking to the guys on-line that he is playing with. I slip in and out of consciousness. Then I hear:

"Damn it. Negroes killed me!"

Huh??

I pop open an eye. I look at him and say "Honey?!? Why the heck are you saying 'Negroes' on-line?"

David stops, stares, and then starts laughing, hard. "I just got it!," he exclaims. He says it again to me: "Negroes." and then he spells it out: K. N. E. E. G. R. O. W. S. Knee Grows. One of the guys he is playing with has the screen name of Knee Grows.

And it took David a couple of hours to figure it out.

David's screen name? Lard Tub.

Life of Pi - 12/06/2007

Another BFF selection.

This book was given to me by my Bff Jill Wendy. (Does anyone get why I always say " Bff Jill Wendy?")

Wendel kept asking me had I read it, had I read it. I was almost hesitant. It's a "popular" book. I don't want to go with the flow. Some recent popular books have been a let-down to me.

If you do not want SPOILERS, STOP NOW! This is your one and only warning.

This is a terrific book, go figure. The writing is fluid. I enjoy reading writings in English of people in other countries (when done right, Mr. Hemingway!). I can feel India in Pi's thoughts and speech. It permeates his actions and I like when a writer can do that.

Pi Patel is a young Indian Hindu living with his family in a Zoo, owned by his parents. He sees the beauty in every animal in there. He sees their purpose, their souls, and has great respect for them. He sees God in everything around him. His love of God is so great, he decides he wants to practice Hinduism, Christianity and Islam, much to the chagrin of the 3 religious leaders of the three religions he practices. When confronted by all three men, he shyly states that all he wants to do "is love God." In college in Toronto later in life, he double-majors in Zoology and Religion. Can anyone see the irony there? Science vs. Religion?

The author describes Pi's life in school (his name is Piscine which means "Pool" in French, and is forever called "Pissing" by his classmates. He changes his name to Pi, while in their upper schools - like high school here I suppose.) While in high school, his parents decide to sell the zoo and its various animals and move from India to Canada. After the details of the selling of animals to various zoos around the world, they embark on a Japanese cargo ship, some animals in tow, towards their new life.

As his parents and brother sleep, he walks to the surface of the vessel. It is sinking. In the melee, some officers throw him into a large lifeboat, atop a zebra with a broken leg. The lifeboat ends up in the sea. As he is floating, he sees Richard Parker and is ecstatic. He whistles and yells encouragement to Richard Parker. Hurry, Hurry! You can make it to the lifeboat, HURRY. As Richard Parker approaches the lifeboat, Pi FINALLY asks himself "What the hell am I DOING??" You see, Richard Parker is a Tiger.

The rest of the book deals with the animals that are in this life boat. An evil hyena, a female orangutan names Orange Julius, the zebra with the broken leg and the groggy Richard Parker, who hides under the tarp, still groggy from the effects of the tranquilizers given to him for his trans-Atlantic voyage.

The hyena begins to dispatch with the animals - the zebra first, then the orangutan, whose head he pulls off. He does not know Richard Parker is under the tarp. Pi tries to find provisions on his side of the lifeboat, which he finds under the tarp near Richard Parker.

Eventually, Richard Parker awakens and kills the hyena.

The rest of the book deals with the psychology of animals and how Pi must "train" Richard Parker to believe he (Pi) is still the alpha male. The author describes Pi's long, arduous journey. Supplies run out, so he begins to fish and collect rain water. He continues to pray. He feed Richard Parker, he prays to God.

After seven months, seven!, and several grueling adventures, they finally wash ashore in Mexico and Richard Parker runs into the woods forever.

The Japanese company comes to interview him after he has been hospitalized.

and here is where the story gets weird.

He tells his story to the men, which is basically the story we have been reading. The Japanese men do not believe him. Over & over he tells them what happened. They think he is insane. Pi asks them if what they are looking for from him is a believable story. When they agree, he tells a different, shorter story. A story about survivors on the boat. His mom, himself, a cook and a Chinese sailor with a broken leg.

The cook terrorized them. First he cut off the broken leg of the Chinese sailor and used the flesh as bait. When the sailor died, he stripped the flesh for bait, and ended up eating it. Pi's mom and the cook fought bitterly, to the end, where the cook decapitates Pi's mom. In the end, Pi kills the cook.

What are we to believe? Is the zebra really a Chinese sailor? Is the cook the hyena. Is his mother the orangutan? Is Pi really Richard Parker, who kills the hyena? What are we to believe - that a man can survive 7 months on a ship with a Tiger? Or with a cannibalistic cook? Can your faith in God allow you to believe the Tiger story or the human one?

I, for one, am staying with the Tiger story.

Of Mice and Men - 12/04/2007

John Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men" is a very small book. My copy is 106 pages and is about 7" x 4". Tiny book. Another one in my "Classics To Read Before You Die" thing I am doing.

You all know I LOVED Steinbeck's "Grapes of Wrath." That book was my "Cry the Beloved Country," Aunt Joan. Loved it. So I was not hesitant in reading another Steinbeck work.

Of Mice and Men deals with two men in around the 1930's who go from ranch to ranch, living a hand-to-mouth existence. There's "small and quick" George and Lennie, huge, powerful but with the mind of a child. They are not related; they just grew up in the same town and George took care of Lennie after Lennie's guardian died.

The relationship is a sweet one. George is ever-frustrated, ever-patient with Lennie, who cannot for the life of him remember anything past 5 minutes. George takes care of Lennie and protects him from himself; Lennie has gotten into trouble in the town they just fled from. Lennie is so child-like, he panics when he is yelled at, and CLINGS WITH ALL HIS MIGHT to whatever it is he is holding on to. This powerful man who broke all the fingers in a man's hand panicked as he held on to a girl's dress in town and frightened her into yelling "rape". It was so pretty, he just wanted to touch it. They fled.

Everything he touches he hurts. The mice he picks up in the fields, the puppy he squishes to death. George tries to help him, but eventually Lennie gets himself into a situation on their new farm where his fear and panic causes him to kill a human.

The final chapter, with George and Lennie by the pond, discussing for the 100th time, their pipe-dream of owning their own stake, living "on the fatta the lan'" is so sad. By rote, George recites the same dream, the same words, the words George knows deep down don't mean a thing. As he recites these words, George knows what must be done, knows it in his soul. The rest of the workers cannot understand his feelings or his hesitance, but he does what he knows he must.

The ending came out of the blue for me, never having read it. So abrupt. C'est la vie. Such is life.

Touched - 12/01/2007

I was talking with Tampa-Sister today. I just called her to see what was up with her & hers. We discussed kids, potty training (kill me now), home sales, and got around to Christmas. I told her that this year, we decided that financially, we were not prepared to buy gifts for the 13 or so people on his side and the 10 or so on my side. This is not counting us and the kids, AND the fact that both David and Jacob have December birthdays. It's too much. I also told her about my paring down the Christmas card sending.

She said she and her mom (my step-mom) were talking about me this week. About how I am so good at seeking people out, seeing how they are, taking care of people, knowing what they need and being there for them. She said the way I am is a gift from God. That most people are not blessed with it and I should not let others ruin it for me. She knows people don't appreciate things much or say so, but she said she & her mom were discussing how special I am and wondering how the heck I do it. I was getting a lump in my throat and thanking her. I especially liked her "Don't let others ruin it for you" thing, because it is so true. Wanting validation and not getting it is a tough and embittering thing. Expecting people to validate what you do can set you up for huge disappointments. I am just trying not setting myself up for more, but I am also not letting myself become embittered (I hope). I want a shiny, happy world full of 1800's values, I suppose.


"Touched," Buffy Season 7, Episode 20

There's a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell - 11/29/2007

I put a hold on this book and got a call from our local (insert banjo music here) library that it was there. I go to pick it up....and it's a book on cd. Ooops. I did not realize I held the wrong one.

This was my first foray into audio books, can you believe it? Me, book psycho nut has never put a book in her cd player. WHY NOT?? A 35-40 minute drive to work whizzes by with a book to listen to (although I do miss my Mix Morning Update Time.)

BE BACK SOON. MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO PLAY CATCH AND HAS ASKED ME LIKE 10,000 TIMES IN A ROW.

I'm back. A day later.

This is Laurie's first novel. Her other books were compilations of her newspaper articles based on her life. This book SCREAMS Laurie Notaro. The main character and husband are basically her and her real husband, with a little bit of changes. It's fine. She's funny and congratulations to her on her first fiction foray.

Mae Roberts moves to a small town in Washington state where her husband has gotten an assistant professor's position at a local college. To say the town is quirky is an understatement. To say that Meg has bad luck is A REAL understatement. She tries SO hard to make friends, and fails miserably. Several times, I said "Oh PLEASE." at the things she did and the things that happened to her.

If you've never read Laurie Notaro's work, you may think her writing style is odd, sarcastic and sometimes trying too hard to be funny. She grows on you. The story is NOT a great work of literature by any means. It's cute, sometimes cringe-worthy, and sometimes laugh-aloud fun.

Hey, does this count as a book I've read, if I didn't read it?

Into the Woods - 11/26/2007

This book was sent to my with my Soap order from my friend Amy at The Foil Hat.

Written by Tana French, who reminds me of an angry elf and whose back cover photograph gave me the wiggins, is a mystery? Detective book? A Whodunnit set in Ireland. The main character is a man who at age 12, was found in the woods, terrified, covered in blood and with no memory as to what happened to his 2 best friends out there in the woods behind the housing development in Ireland where all 3 kids lived. Fast forward 20 or so years to this man, now a Murder detective (no one knows who he is; he is using his middle name as his first name now) who investigates another murder in the same woods.


For the first few chapters, I found the author's writing very...verbose. I vacillated between totally thinking she was a stuck-up word snob, and wishing I could write that way. I think it got better as I read, or I got more used to it.


The character, Ryan was very well-written and his partnership with Cassie, a female detective was great; something we all wish we had. Then towards the end, his character pretty much goes bonko after an incident with his partner Cassie and his actions are just so out of character, especially how their friendship was portrayed; I wanted to smack the snot out of him for how he treated her and was mad at him for it.


The case itself was weird and I did not guess who it was. I was hoping for closure, but then again, I don't want it. I want happy endings but then get mad if the story is too formulaic (Great Expectations) and I can predict what is going to happen, so I am usually fine with an ending that leaves things unresolved. (Joss Whedon hates happy endings and has destroyed me forever on them).


I liked the author's writing style when she was relating Ryan's flashbacks and memories; they were really alive with color and "senses". I also found that it was more "American" than Irish. I did not really get a European feel reading this, and that was a bit of a bummer, as I tend to really like European/British writing and movies.


I enjoyed most of the book. Even with creepy elf lady staring at me.

Great Expectations - 11/21/2007

I had to read this book in high school and remembered NOTHING about it other than there was a boy named Pip and something about a convict and an old lady, that's it. I can't remember ever having read any other Dickens novel either other than "A Christmas Carol", but that's not saying much, considering my memory, and so I don't know if this sort of writing is his...forte' or modus operandi or something. Meaning, I found the book to be very formulaic. Is it that I am a 21st century jaded person? Possibly. But when I can predict everything that happened (and no, not because I remembered, because I truly did not), then I consider it formulaic. This books give meaning to "It's a Small World After All."

Everyone knows everyone else. Pip's encounters, over and over and over, are with the same tight-knit group of people; lawyers, clerks, rich crazy old ladies, cold beautiful girls, annoying town folk, escaped convicts. Really, how small is the England of old I think my main problem with the story is that I found no sympathy for Pip. Yes, at first, you feel sorry for him with his over-the-top sister who treats him and her husband Joe like the bane of her existence. She is mean, she puts on airs and she was a nag. You feel his terror at having met a convict and being threatened with death if he does not feed the convict. Joe and Pip had my sympathy, but then I start to notice a change in him when, by request, he goes to visit Miss Havisham, a rich eccentric lady who has not changed her clothes or cleaned her room since she was left at the alter on her wedding day by a swindler who took her money and broke her heart. After visiting her dilapidated mansion and meeting her beautiful ward Estella, he hates his gruff hands, he's embarrassed by his small house, by his mean clothing and mostly by Joe, his brother-in-law and best friend who has been nothing but wonderful to him. When Pip receives his "windfall" and is to have "Great Expectations" from an anonymous benefactor, he just becomes this insufferable fool and snob. He looks down on his town, he looks down on Joe and their nursemaid Biddy, who takes care of his sister who has been incapacitated by an intruder.

Pip journeys to London thinking Miss Havisham is his benefactor and just.....spends money and becomes more of a snob. He, never having anything in his life, is in debt now. His spending is out of control. He is sent to Mr. Pocket, Miss Havisham's relative, to get educated and become a gentlemen. His scant visits home involve him completely ignoring Joe, Joe's wife (his sister), his good friend Biddy and being condescending to the town folk. In London, he meets a lovely character named Wemmick who is ALL BUSINESS at work with a lawyer, who happens to be Miss Havisham's lawyer, and at home is a wonderful, caring, eccentric man. Pip pines away for Estella who is just cold and calculating, having been brought up by the heart-broken Miss Havisham to BE cold and break men's hearts.

In the end, he finds out who his real benefactor is, and everyone ends up being acquainted to each other in some ridiculous form or another (this guy is her dad, and his partner broke the other woman's heart and this maid is really her mom and yada yada yada) and it's just a bit over the top.

Pip loses his fortune, has to go home with his tail between his legs and eventually gets a job with his best friend, who he secretly funded when he had money. He meets Estella again in the end, newly widowed, and you get the idea that maybe they will get together. This was not Dickens original ending. He wrote Estella remarried after being widowed and their having a chance meeting on the street. Pips remains alone. Critics and readers hated the ending and he was asked by his publishers to write a newer ending with a little bit of hope to it, which is what he wrote. I am sorry to the Dickens lovers out there, I did not like this one. One more off my Top 100 Classics to read.

Say it Ain't So, Joss! - 11/19/2007

I was Googling Joss (which sounds kind of pervy, but isn't) and came across this interview on MSN about Senor Whedon.

Main points: "Ripper" is STILL not a go. Fox needs to get off their butts and let the BBC use the Tony Head/Rupert Giles character already, before Tony....gets along in age. Oh, don't get me wrong, Tony is still the hottest 53 year old out there.

but eventually, even *he* won't be able to stand up to his moniker of 'Ripper'.

Also, no Serenity sequel. What?

To quote Spike, "Is everyone here very stoned?" Why NOT a sequel? When the DVD is released in December 20, 2005 and by January 15, 2006, you've made 9.1 MILLION dollars (in less than a month), you've got something there.

I have not had a Whedon fix in a while. No big-screen "Wonder Woman" now either. But wait, what's this I hear? Another Whedon series coming to tv, AND starring a Buffy Alum? Don't play with my emotions Joss. This had better be on the air and soon!

Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes, Knees and Toes - 11/19/2007

The inventor of the annual female exam MUST have been a man. Who else could come up with this stuff? Men, just turn around. Click the "back" button. No need to go further. Women plumbing is not for you.

I call this my "annual overhaul." I work in a place where the all the equipment gets checked and serviced every time it goes out the door, but once a year, the motors must also have an "annual overhaul." On the calendar at work, it said "Kaaren in late; Annual Overhaul."

I have never been a fan of this exam, but have never really had any horror stories. I have been blessed with really great doctors. I have two actually that I use; my regular practitioner (who I call Egon)

and my OBGYN, who I will call Theresa, as she is a saint. They are in separate offices. Egon's staff are the ones who did Jake's toe. My OBGYN was booked through December, so I scheduled my appointment at my regular doctor's office and got the new nurse to do the job.

The new chair almost had me laughing aloud. It was a regular old chair and next thing I know, it's an inverted U and I'm all over the place. It was possibly the best annual exam, as far as these go. I felt not a darned thing. And the new nurse practitioner was SOOOOO NICE. She gets an A+.

Let's fast-forward to this morning. I have another exam to do. This one involved drinking 32 ounces of water before arriving. I did so, got to the office early, and sat in the waiting room. And waited. And Waited. And Waited. I would like for you to measure out 32 ounces of water, drink it in a half hour period and then not pee...for 2 & 1/2 hours. I was crying, really crying, in the waiting room. I felt like such a fool, but I have never had my bladder this full in my LIFE. I was hyperventilating. I was convincing my self to be calm, while also convincing myself to forget this crap, cancel the appointment and just go pee. It was the worst feeling I have ever had.

The receptionist saw me crying and said "We'll be right with you." Five minutes and I am in the exam room. Fifteen MORE torturous minutes and I am finally allowed to use the rest room.

Go, drink 32 ounces. Let me know how it goes for you. *gag*

Goodbye to You - 11/15/2007

We're sad. The cool neighbors moved one month early. They were leaving in December. These are the neighbors that gave us their lawn mower and whose daughter is Isabel's first *real* non-family friend. *sigh*

Mr Neighbor came over Saturday to say they moved up their move...to Thursday! WHAT? Huh? No!

I planned on making a scrap book of all the cool times Isabel and their daughter spent together; Isabel's birthday, her birthday, 4th of July, random days where we watched her or she came over to play, the football game her dad officiated and we went to see. I printed pictures, bought a mini-scrap book and went to town. I finished it last Friday. He told us they were moving the next day. Talk about timing. (and "chip-missing" David turns to me in front of him and says "Hey, did you finish that thing you were making for them?" My reply, "Yes, you moron." Anyone have a sensitivity-chip available?)

I invited them over to dinner on Wednesday. In the meantime, random things kept appearing in our garage. Three gallons of unused bleach. A bike. Car mats. Yesterday, they came over for dinner and asked to borrow Isabel's wagon. They emptied their fridge and freezer and brought it over. Holy cow. And all their cleaning supplies (the moving company won't transport chemicals). We had fajitas (steak, shrimp & chicken) with all the fixings, including rice and refried beans.

Mrs. Neighbor loved the scrapbook.

The moving van just left. Mr. Neighbor came by to bring more cleaning supplies, give me a hug, and drop off a $100 Visa gift card (he said for mowing their grass while their house stays on the market, but that was what the lawnmower was for). There they go.

Must....Choke....Phone - 11/15/2007

I hate cell phones. It is no secret. I hate that people assume that the if a cell phone rings that we MUST answer it. We are so self-important that this phone call MUST be the end-all and be-all call. I know one who answers the cell phone while using the bathroom! Really? Is it THAT important that you cannot wait 3 minutes and check your call record? Or people who are in a conversation with a live person in front of them, their cell rings and they cut the live person off to answer the phone. How rude!

Let me explain something about me: If I am tired, watching tv, bathing my daughter, taking a nap, talking to my son, cooking dinner, reading a book, etc. etc. I might not answer the phone. Sorry. LEAVE A MESSAGE. I will get back to you; you know how great I am at keeping in touch.

I have a couple of people both at work and in my personal life who will:

1) ..beep me on the two-way and immediately start talking. I AM ON THE PHONE WITH A CUSTOMER and all I hear is someone talking very loudly about something they need. Here's a tip: Give a "Courtesy Chirp." Beep someone....and WAIT. Don't assume that because you have free time, that the person you are beeping is free. I've been in the bathroom at work and heard my two-way chirp and the person start talking. I'm in the can....away from the phone - I can't hear you!

2).....beep me or call me on the cell while I am on the land-line talking to someone. When I don't immediately answer the beep or call, they immediately call my office land-line. HELLO???? I did not answer the cell phone or radio for a REASON. Why didn't you leave a message? Don't immediately call back on the land-line. I am busy with the many people calling me needing something.

There is no cell-phone courtesy and it kills me. I don't understand the rudeness of taking calls in a meeting, in a restaurant, while talking to someone in person. STOP IT ALREADY.

I am the WoMAN - 11/11/2007

My son tried to use his shower last night. Our tubs & showers only have one handle. They turn in an arc, the top of the arc being the hottest you can get. He got the handle mid-way....and it stuck. He called me, I tried, and could not get it to move. Afraid to yank too hard and break something, I had him use my shower and told myself I would check it out in the morning. I SO did not want to have to pay a plumber $90 an hour or so for something stupid.

This afternoon, I took a small led light and pulled off the handle. There's a....long metal stick? that is moved by the handle. It would not budge. There is also a black plastic piece, and behind it, I see white paper. Looks like the paper is stuck. I grab my tweezers and my hair-cutting scissors and I attempt to get at this piece of paper. As I am hacking away, I realize the plastic black piece comes out. I pull it out with the tweezers, remove the paper behind it (some plastic-coated paper with serial numbers and blah blah. I put the black plastic piece in and ...voila! I can turn the water al the way to hot! I take it off again, just to make sure this plastic paper is not vital to its inner workings, put the black piece in...and VOILA....It's STUCK AGAIN. What?

Turns out, the black piece is a guard of sorts. Depending on how you place it on the metal rod, you can get the knob to stop at certain points, thus ensuring your toddler won't accidentally turn the handle all the way to hot and scald themselves. I don't know how it got turned around, but I got it on correctly and we now have a working faucet.

I walk out of the bathroom and say loudly "Who's the man?!?!"

....which reminded me of my wedding and a funny back story.

My husband's uncle performed the ceremony. He gave a beautiful speech. At one point, he tells my husband "David...you're....THE MAN," and goes on to say how he will be the head of the household. Meanwhile, my sister the bridesmaid and one of my other bridesmaids are trying not to look at each other for fear of cracking up. Waaaaaay in the back of the courtyard, some of my co-worker friends who flew in from Boston, DC, Seattle & New Orleans are hanging out listening. The chick from Boston hears "David, you're the man," turns to the other girls and says "Has he MET Kaaren?"

Cry the Beloved Country - 11/07/2007

"Cry the Beloved Country" by Alan Paton was given to me as one of 9 books I received from a relative, David's Aunt Joan. It was one of the books that she said was one of her most "beloved."

I am going to try and write something, as my daughter runs around yelling for things. She's getting over a 24-hour bug of sorts and has not been pleasant, poor thing. I am afraid I won't do this review justice, but I keep forgetting to do it, and I finished the book 2 weeks ago.

The book tells the story of several people whose lives are intertwined by a murder in racially stunted South Africa. The murder is not really even the core of the book, so I don't want you to think it's what the novel is about. I wish I knew more of the history of South Africa and Apartheid. Separate but Equal does not really make sense to me.

The story is about a Zulu Pastor, Stephen Kumalo, a very humble, God-fearing, obedient, good natured man, going to the big city of Johannesburg to locate his sister and her son, and most importantly, his grown son, who has lost contact with Kumalo and his wife in their very small, very poor, very tight-knit community that is dying a slow death due to the over-tilling and over-planting of their drought-stricken land.

"And some cry for the cutting up of South Africa without delay into separate areas, where white can live without black and black without white..."

The writing style often reminded my of Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath and how Steinbeck would throw in small paragraphs of life of the people around the city or the area affected by the strife affecting our main characters. No one we know; just people in coffee houses, and picket lines and meetings. I liked that in Steinbecks' work and found out later that Paton was a fan of "Grapes of Wrath". There is a lot of the oppression and the racial divide that is present in South Africa in the book. A lot of ideas and no quick solutions. Nothing that will happen within a generation. So many oppressed, so few trying to help. One of those trying to help the natives, a white man named Arthur Jarvis, is killed in his home by Pastor Kumalo's son.

"Cry, the beloved country, for the unborn child that is the inheritor of our fear. Let him not love the earth too deeply. "

The book delves into Pastor Kumalo's shame. His hurt. His not understanding the people and the city of Johannesburg and how they can be so hurtful, thieving, lying. He is so sad. His small-town ideals and faith are slowly stripped away as he deals with the incarceration of his son and the finding of his sister (who ended up in prostitution). But it also shows him hope; the Pastor Msimangu and his devotion & generosity towards Kumalo. Father Vincent, Mrs. Lithebe - all shining places in dark Johannesburg.

The second part of the book deals with Mr. Jarvis, Arthus Jarvis' father. A man of wealth who never even shook the hand of a black man until his son's funeral, where the great outpouring of love, respect and support for his son Arthur got him curious. Who was this son who left their small town (coincidentally, the same town as Kumalo and Kumalo's son!) and came to Johannesburg to be a pioneer for change for the natives? Who was this person he raised , who is now being lauded for his strength and courage? He reads his son's letters and manuscripts and sees the work that his son is trying to accomplish - to educate, to empower, to aid the black man.

"I have one great fear in my heart, that one day when they turn to loving they will find we are turned to hating."

Both Mr. Jarvis and Mr. Kumalo go back to their town. Kumalo to his church, wife and poor tribe, Jarvis to his estate. But you see a transformation in Jarvis. His son he hardly knew changed him. Jarvis sends milk to the church, sends aid to the village in the form of a farming teaching aid, he helps build dams. He understands that he alone cannot change things but someone, somewhere, somehow has to start. The man whose son is killed helps the father of the man who committed the murder. It's a bittersweet story. We end with Kumalo in the mountain, watching the sunrise on the death day of his son, and although those rays signify the death of his child, it also signifies the rebirth of his tribe; not in his life-time, but it's a start.

Business in the Front - 11/07/07

For the past few months, I've had odd encounters with some neighbors. I use the term loosely, because they don't live on my street. They live on one of the streets that my street intersects. This street is the "back" way to the Wal-Mart that's less than a mile away, hidden (for now) by trees. I use the "back way" only when I go to Wal-Mart. In going this way, I often pass by the Burnt Orange Hummer House. (The Hummer's orange, not the house). Often-times I pass the Hummer itself driving on the street. The driver, I can't tell if it's a he or a she, emphatically WAVES at me. Full-on spaztic "HEY THERE" waving. I have no idea who they are. We have never met, never spoken. *I* think they are confusing me with another Silver Jeep like mine whose owner lives somewhere in this neighborhood and I have seen a few times. I'll lamely wave and kind-of shrug. Sometimes, I'll drive by their house, and the lady of the house waves enthusiastically at me as I drive by. I smile and wave back. No clue who they are.

David and I are driving the back way from Wal-Mart one day and it reminds me to tell him about Hummer people. Right as I start to say "Oh, yea. There's these people in a Hummer...." the Hummer drives by and arms wave happily. I wave and finish my story with a "See?? See?? Who are they?" David doesn't know them either.

This Saturday, as I come back from buying something I am sure we needed, I pass by Hummer House. Never again shall it be called "Hummer House," because...as I drove by and waved back at the man riding the lawn mower, all I could think was...."Business in the Front, Party in the Back."



The man possessed the most perfect, most fantastic, most mulletastical mullet EVER. Pin straight LONG black hair, stopping right at his lower back. Oh, yes indeed there is a party in the back. Spikey short hair up front, for those board meetings.

Mullet Mansion man and I, waving emphatically back, will share that memory forever.

Ghosts of Halloweens Past - 10/24/2007

Back before I had Isabel, and when Jake was younger, I was very much a hands-on Halloween person. We were involved in Cub Scouts and I was a Den Leader for over 5 years. We went to a lot of parties and camp-outs and I went all-out on Jake (and my) costumes.

2002 - I am pretty sure I shocked many a Cub Scout parents when I showed up in this get-up. BUT!!! I bought a super-ling cape & pretty much kept my lower half covered the entire time. Jake went as Harry Potter, but I have no pictures on computer. I need to scan some.

2003 - I went all-out this year. We went camping for Halloween with the scouts. Here's what I did.

Click on it to make it bigger. Jake was a dresser! His head is the lamp! There are clothes and underwear hanging from his drawers! Me? I am a bag of groceries! I totally rocked this costume.

2003 - I was pregnant with Isabel. I made the most awesome costume ever....and I can't find the picture!!!! I made an oven out of a box covered in white contact paper. I put knobs on it, I made burners and put a toy pan on the burner. I made a clock. I made a door, with clear door...that opened! And when you opened the door, I was wearing a T-shirt that said "Bun." Get it?? BUN in the OVEN?? I loved that costume. I have searched high & low for those pictures and cannot find them. Waahhhh.

Jake? He was....




A head.....on a platter.....on a table! He won prizes!

I wish I had a better copy. Maybe I can scan the one I have so you can see the dead rats and animals on the gold plate.

2004 - I had Isabel and was TIRED, so I did not dress up, but I did work on Jake's costume.

He has small cereal boxes glued to his shirt. They have knives stuck in them and red paint around the knives. He was....A CEREAL KILLER!




This next picture is not from Halloween, but I thought was cute. It was for our Cub Scout Blue & Gold Ceremony. The theme was the Circus, and being the Den Leader extraordinaire, I went all out.

2005 & Jake was kind-of over costumes. He got a store-bought costume and *I* discovered E-Bay, where I got Isabel's Fairy Costume.

2006 - Jake did not want to go out but I made him. LOL He HAD to take his little sister around. He was Napoleon Dynamite and Isabel was Red Riding Hood.

Raise You Hand if EW! - 10/20/2007

My poor, poor boy has had an ingrown toenail for a while. Months. We thought nothing of it, even when he would YELL if anyone accidentally stepped on his toe, or he hit his toe on something. Even then, I thought "Overreact much?" Then, Isabel stepped on it, and pus came out. That caught my attention. I scheduled an appointment with my doctor (Jake & Iz's doc moved to Apopka, way too far away for us).

The first visit was pretty much just to say, yea he needs to have that cut off by our doctors, please pay your $25 co-pay. We scheduled "surgery" for 3 days later (please pay another $25 co-pay. Losers.)

On Friday, the 4 of us went to the doc (David brought him from school because I was not driving from work in Seminole county, to get him in Volusia county, to take him back to Seminole county for the appointment).

Let me preface this by saying, Jake's dad is an $%^&+*. (I don't care who reads this; you know who you are!) WHY the heck would anyone tell their child about to have surgery "You make sure they knock you out. I had that surgery and it was the worst pain in my life. The needle they stick in your toe to numb you hurt like hell. The worst pain I ever felt!" Who does that?!?!? He is not your "buddy," he is your son. Your job is to protect him, not scare the crap out of him. SERIOUSLY.

That's what I was dealing with as I went into the room with him; terror. He started to freak a little, and I told him: "The thing about pain is, you have to breathe through it. You cannot freak out. You have to breathe and stay calm. Freaking out is only going to make it last longer. Just get through it and it will be done." He asked me when did I become a Zen Master.

The doctor came in (she was 12, Indian, pretty and sweet). She explained the procedure while Jake tried not to hyperventilate. When it came time to numb the toe, they placed a rubberband tight around it, and then stuck a 20 gauge needle into his toe, to slowly push in the medicine. I turned my back to them, looked at Jake, held his hand and told him to relax and breathe. I could tell he was in pain. They numbed one side, then it was time for the other. The return of some feeling to my hand led me to believe that the first shot was working. Jake was afraid that he would feel them cutting into his toe and voiced that fear aloud. That's when I told him that they were injecting him a third time. He had no idea.

Last time he had to have an injection to numb something was in Kindergarten. He sliced his finger open & needed stitches. As the doc was putting the injection in his finger and Jacob screamed bloody murder, the room looked a little too white and bright. A nurse said "Mom, are you o.k.?," sat me down on a chair and shoved my head between my knees.

So, yea, the room is getting a little whiter and man, it's hot in here. MY doctor walks in to help out 12-year old doctor. He sees me and says "Are you o.k. mom?" I laugh and sit down.

Jake was listening to his music on his MP3 player so he did not hear the CRACK of the nail coming off, or the doctors laughing about how loud it was. I'm trying to refrain from sticking my head between my knees.

They bandaged the toe before we could see it, showed me the HUGE piece of nail embedded in his toe, and gave us instructions for the next few days.

Water for Elephants - 10/16/2007

I'm so glad my bff Jill Wendy is in a book club. She sends me all the good books once she is done, because she won't check them out of the library. She tends to spill food on them. She sent me "Water for Elephants," by Sara Gruen.

This is the story of a man named Jacob, told by his 90-something year old self; he can't quite remember how old he is. A circus being set up across the street from his nursing home sends his mind back to his youth in the days of the Depression as a student in vet school whose life is turned upside down due to tragedy and ends up acccidentally running away with the circus when he hops on their train.

It's not a story for the prim & proper; It's the story of the underbelly of the circus after all. The cruel treatment of its workers, the vanity and dishonesty of its owner, the strife of a depression. It is also the story of friendship (Walter, Camel), of falling in love with the woman you can't have, of psychotic bosses and Jacob's love of all creatures, great & small. The story switches from past to present often, and you feel sad seeing Jacob so neglected and alone in the nursing home.

I've read that the author made the biblical story of Jacob the backbone of this story. If it's there, I don't see it. Biblical Jacob was a twin who usurped his twin brother Esau's position in the family; who spent 14 years working for the chance to marry the woman he loved, who wrestled with an Angel/God. I don't see the correlation.

"Water for Elephants" was a fast read because it was a good read.

He slides into home...and he's SAFE! - 10/15/2007

We're in the kitchen and Jake's complaining about one of his teachers, who is apparently tone-sensitive ("she's always telling us to stop yelling, but we're not yelling"), cranky and 100 years old. "She's like....50, mom!" (Fifty is like....12 years away for me, dude.) He proceeds to explain how she has these wicked big arms that flap when she waves her arms, while yelling at kids to stop yelling. I flippantly say "Yea, big like mine," and proceed to jiggle my own arm fat. He says "No, her arm fat is WAY bigger than your arm...." He stops, mid-sentence. "You have no arm fat mom. None." Pause. ................ "Nice save, huh mom?"

"Toootally," I say.

The Count of Monte Cristo - 10/12/2007

NOOO, not that Monte Cristo. This one.

Or as some of you may remember:

As I read on a T-shirt and thought was VERY fitting: Never judge a book by its movie. The Jim Caviezel version is NOT the same as the book. It's a good movie, they just.....changed things to make it spicier.

For instance, I do not see Monsieur Alexandre Dumas, the author, writing anything about premarital sex and women getting knocked up. Totally made up for the movie.

The book is the story of revenge and redemption. Our protagonist, Edmond, is 19, just became captain of his own ship in the 1830's and has the love of the beautiful Mercedes. But, one man jealous of Edmond's good fortune and another man, yearning for Mercedes, plot to destroy Edmond. They set him up as a traitor to his country. Just when you think he is about to be let free, a third man, a lawyer, commits Edmond to prison to hide the truth of the crime; that the lawyer's father is involved.

Innocent Edmond spends years in this horrid prison. He is about to kill himself when he meets a most spectacular man. An Abbe who has been digging a tunnel for years & years, only to dig in the wrong direction and end up in Edmond's cell. The two strike up a friendship. This old priest teaches Edmond everything he knows; literature, science, languages. Years and years pass and the old man dies. Edmond uses the dead man's shroud as his escape from the prison island, with a map to riches. The old priest was thought to be mad by the prison guards, because he kept mentioning riches he had hidden. Sure enough, on the small little island of Monte Cristo, Edmond finds his riches.

Nine years and MANY intricate details, plots and plans later, he emerges as The Count of Monte Cristo, to exact revenge on the 3 men who kept him incarcerated.

The machinations Edmond went through, YEARS of this, were a lot to take in. Dumas put a lot of detail in the book, and various characters. Sometimes, I got lost with who was who. I read a whole chapter with "bad guy # 1" in my head, only to realize it was "bad guy # 2." I suggest jotting down who is who at the beginning, just to keep the story straight. It does *not* end up like the movie.

The book was exciting though and I found it a quick read because of the intricate details.

Another one to cross of my list of Classics. C'est l'ouevre d'un bon auteur.